When parenting is hard, when we lose patience with our kids or we don’t have the motivation to give them the attention they need, we almost always blame ourselves. 

Parent’s ask me all the time what they can do in these tricky situations. They presume the fault lies with them, if only they responded differently, tried harder, did more, then things would be better. 

But what if none of it was your fault and the real reason parenting can be so very hard is that we are parenting in a very unnatural way that is in stark contrast to how we evolved as a species to raise our children and live in community together?

This week’s topic is inspired by an article I read a few weeks ago by Peter Gray entitled  “Beyond Attachment to Parents: Children Need Community” where he looks at research into the adult-child interactions in a hunter-gatherer society and what we can learn from their child-rearing practices. 

I have been thinking about the ideas in this article and talking to my clients and other parents about it ever since. It has resonated so deeply with me and them - that I decided I wanted to talk about it some more on the podcast this week. 

We can’t go back to the old ways of hunter-gatherer tribes, nor would we want to. But we can learn so much about ourselves and the condition we need to thrive. We can take those lessons and think about practical ways we can create more community and more support for ourselves. 

I want to shift the conversation away from parents’ individual struggles and perceived failings towards how we as a society can support each other better and take on the shared responsibility of raising children. 

If you enjoyed this episode, I would love to hear your thoughts about how you are going to build more community and support into your life.

Get in touch and I can send you more information on Listening Partnerships. 

If you would like to attend my live training “Strong-willed child survival Guide” then click here to join my free Facebook group Peacefully Parenting Under 8s. 

The training takes place on Tuesday 7th November 2023 at 8pm UK time. 

If you have missed the training and want the replay, let me know and I will send it to you. 

If you are ready to put these ideas into practice in your own parenting, come and work with me over in the Peaceful Parent School.  Click here to find out more and book your place.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend and consider leaving an iTunes or Spotify review. It will help this conversation reach even more parents.

I would love to stay in touch! You can follow me on Facebook and Instagram @PamParentCoach. I always love to hear from my listeners.