In this episode, I have a powerful and moving conversation with the wonderful Illiyin Morrison. Illiyin is a midwife, author, and birth debrief facilitator who specialises in processing difficult and traumatic perinatal experiences. We explore the crucial difference between being 'nice' and being 'kind,' and why she doesn't care about being liked. Illiyin shares her personal birth experiences, how they became a catalyst for her work, and her mission to change the narrative around birth from a passive experience to one of active participation. We also discuss the crisis of apathy, the vital role of community, and why the silence from many maternal spaces on global issues is not surprising, but is rooted in capitalism and a conditioned desire for palatability.
Key Takeaways:
Kindness Over Niceness: Niceness can be a currency used to conform and remain compliant. Kindness, however, is about being generous and well-intentioned, and doesn't require you to be palatable to the status quo.
Active Participation in Birth: It's important to shift the narrative from birth being something that happens to you, to something that happens with you. Recognising your own power and agency is key to being an active participant in your own perinatal experiences.
The Antidote to Apathy is Community: Society's glorification of individualism can lead to apathy. The antidote is to connect with community, which stimulates empathy, compassion, and a collective force for change that is feared by those in power.
Privilege and Selective Empathy: The reluctance of some mothers to engage with global suffering is a form of privilege. We are capable of handling more than we've been told, and exposing ourselves to the reality of others' pain is how we develop compassion, empathy and humanity.
Episode Highlights
10:00: Illyin explains the difference between being kind and being nice, describing "niceness" as a currency that keeps people compliant.
11:00: Illyin speaks to the unspoken promise adults make to children to provide physical, emotional, and mental safety for them to develop.
18:00: Challenging the narrative that birth is something that happens to us, and instead viewing it as a process we are active participants in.
28:00: Illyin discusses why many in the 'birth business' have remained silent on global atrocities, linking it to capitalism and the need to remain palatable to sustain their income.
39:00: The glorification of individualism intentionally creates a society of selfish goals; the antidote to the resulting apathy is finding community.
About the Guest:
Illyin Morrison is a midwife, author of The Birth Debrief, and a birth debrief facilitator. She helps people process difficult perinatal experiences and also ventures into grief processing. You may also recognise her from the Great British Bake Off.
Instagram: @illyin_morrison
Website: mixingboil.com
Connect with Megan:
Instagram: @HigherLove_withMegan
Website: www.higher-love.com
This episode was written and recorded by me and produced by Lucy Lucraft (lucylucraft.co.uk)
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