In this conversation, Jacob and Scott talk about the difference between trying to fix yourself and working to accept yourself, quirks and all. They discuss how the self-help culture makes it easy to get lost in the desire to change ourselves, when what serves us better is acknowledging who we really are, with compassion and love. They talk about the benefit of teachers, as long as they recognize the power to create healing lives within the students, and dependence upon a teacher or guru is not only unnecessary but likely harmful. The friends dive into the Enneagram a bit (as Scott tries to figure out his type) and acknowledge whether it’s with the Enneagram, astrology, Meyer’s-Briggs, or any other system of understanding oneself, the aim is to create more acceptance and healing around whatever personality traits are yours to work with. Oh, and they talk about envy and the other less desirable aspects of the human mind.

“I was a neurotic for years. I was anxious and depressed and selfish. Everyone kept telling me to change.

I resented them, and I agreed with them, and I wanted to change, but simply couldn't, no matter how hard I tried.

What hurt the most was that, like the others, my best friend kept insisting that I change. So I felt powerless and trapped.

Then, one day, he said to me, "Don't change. I love you just as you are."

Those words were music to my ears: "Don't change. Don't change. Don't change . . . I love you as you are."

I relaxed. I came alive. And suddenly I changed!

Now I know that I couldn't really change until I found someone who would love me whether I changed or not.” - Anthony DeMello

Scott’s Santa Fe workshop this weekend with Ruthie Lindsey: https://loveyourselfwhole.eventbrite.com

Scott’s Detroit Breathwork workshops in August: Saturday, August 20th: https://saturdaybreath.eventbrite.com Sunday, August 21st: https://sundaybreath.eventbrite.com