But no matter how intensely I feel something, I’m always left with this sensation that there is a trapdoor the feeling didn’t make it through.a forbidden place that is trying to protect the deepest parts of me… I could cry at a leaf on the fucking ground if I think about it enough.But I cannot escape this feeling that I am not feeling enough.A sensation of some sort of weird disconnect-A severed pathway that abruptly stops feelings before they get to some sort of elusive satisfying place that I’ll never know.Subscribe to substack for free visual podcast episode delivered to your inbox.