When I can’t be with myself or what is, I turn to repetition.Why do I listen to the same song over and over and over and over again? Is it because they are saying something I wish I could?Is it because it makes me feel something I can’t muster up for myself?Is it because I’m looking for permission to feel something I haven’t even let myself acknowledge?Why do I watch the same shows over and over and over again? Is it because I want to feel comforted and familiar without having to actually participate?Is it because I feel braced for what I know occurs and I don’t have to feel it fresh and hard?Is it because I won’t allow space for something I don’t already know? Why do I prefer to read or write about things instead of doing the thing itself? If I read about writing instead of actually writing, I can feel like I’m in that world without actually having to be in the work of it.If I read about others thoughts on philosophy and life, I can breathe the sigh of relief that I’m not as alien as I thought and lessen the compulsion to have to articulate myself. The benefits of choosing this peripheral version of living have a limited shelf life.As cozy as it is, this repetitive overconsumption of repetition leads to repetitive undercreation. The temporary relief sedates us. It paralyzes our ability to actively engage/create/and experience life from our unique version of creative life force.It becomes an autopilot choice to be a passive bystander rather than an active participant. Why am I the only exception to my deepest belief?An unconditional love and acceptance of what is…unless what is, is me.This episode is an invitation to renovate the well grooved neuropathways of our mind to a home that feels good instead of just familiar. Get a free visual version of this podcast delivered to your inbox via subscribing to my substack :)