Disciples,

This week, the ritual takes a new form: The Wheel of Death — a cursed relic loaded with at least twenty Nicolas Cage films, each one a threat to sanity and structure. Ashley must spin… and accept his fate.

And fate, dear listeners, has a dark sense of humour.

The wheel clatters… it slows… and lands on The Wicker Man (2006) — the infamous remake that gave the world “NOT THE BEES!” and a performance from Cage that could only be described as holy madness.

Sean watches with glee. Ash suffers. The cult feasts.