...In reality, we have both! And that's ok. It's part of the human experience on this earth. We aren't supposed to be perfect....we're on the road of perfecting ourselves....it's a journey and not a destination. So, get fearless in finding out your anger patterns. It's going to be ok. I promise. Trust me when I say that I'm still on this journey of self-confronting my anger patters and leaning into the wisdom of what it is trying to tell me about my Self.
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Anger
Anger is a natural human emotion that serves an important purpose in our emotional landscape, but how we experience and express it makes all the difference.
Healthy anger functions as a signal that something is wrong and needs attention. It typically:
Is proportional to the situation
Motivates constructive problem-solving
Protects legitimate boundaries
Leads to appropriate assertiveness
Dissipates once addressed
Involves awareness and responsibility for the emotion
When expressed healthily, anger can strengthen relationships by communicating needs clearly and respecting others' perspectives. It often follows a pattern of recognition, regulation, and resolution.
Differentiation: Anger is like a flag - telling you that a boundary has been crossed. I could be a physical boundary, mental, emotional, or psychological - there isn’t safety. So where do you not feel safe?
Unhealthy anger becomes problematic when it:
Is disproportionate to the triggering event
Manifests as explosive outbursts or prolonged resentment
This leads to verbal or physical aggression
Gets suppressed entirely, turning inward
Damages relationships repeatedly
Controls the person rather than being controlled
Becomes chronic or the default emotional response
Unhealthy anger often creates a cycle where the person feels justified in their rage while causing harm to themselves and others.
Healthy anger tends to resolve issues and create positive change. Unhealthy anger typically creates more problems than it solves, damaging trust and emotional well-being.
Would you like me to explore any specific aspect of anger management in more detail?
Healthy AngerUnhealthy AngerThe Difference in Outcomes
Healthy anger tends to resolve issues and create positive change. Unhealthy anger typically creates more problems than it solves, damaging trust and emotional well-being.
Would you like me to explore any specific aspect of anger management in more detail?
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To learn more about Hyo North, a Trauma-informed Somatic Life Coach:
Email me: hyonorthlifecoach@gmail.com
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