Todays episode is a vulnerable one. I am joined by my husband Lorne to share our story publicly for the first time ever.
Our story has a lot in it that you don't see on social media. We lived for years and years in a toxic dynamic that eventually led to a 10 month separation. Our story has every thing you could possibly imagine in it: addiction, abuse, toxic dysfunction, codependency and more. During our separation, we had to truly let our old relationship die so that if we could get to a point to rebuild, it would be on a new solid foundation.
We share our story for a few reasons.
One to help any couple sitting where we were sitting; to give hope that there is a different way but that it is not easy. It takes an unbelievable amount of work to unlearn patterns of behaviour and rebuild on a new foundation, and even though its possible, not every person is willing to humble themselves to do that inner work required.
We also share it as a testimony of what God can do. Trying to save this marriage alone, we would be divorced by now...it is by HIS healing and HIS work in our situation, why we are standing together after all this time. He deserves and gets all the credit for this story.
Lastly, we dont share this from a place of perfection. We are deep in the rebuilding process and it is MESSY. Its not as easy to say 'okay we will stop all these behaviours and patterns that created this dysfunctional dynamic' No, they are ingrained and require hard work, time and lots of trying and failing to get to the other side. So this is not a story of 'being on the other side' but from a place of continuously doing the work to rebuild. Yes we felt we were in a place to start talking about it but by no means are we living a perfect marriage now, we are living a much healthier one with a lot of support and accountability to be able to share it now.
Thank you for allowing us to be vulnerable and share our story.
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