Have you ever wondered why overgiving feels like love, but leaves you burned out and resentful? In this powerful episode, psychotherapist and author Dr. Zoe Shaw joins me to explore the roots of complex shame, the hidden cost of people-pleasing, and how to create emotional safety in your relationships and within yourself.
We break down the real meaning of codependency, how to set boundaries without guilt, and why your deepest strength is often found in your most painful places.
Dr. Zoe’s new book, Stronger in the Difficult Places, is a must-read for anyone ready to stop abandoning themselves in the name of connection.
💥 Key Topics:
Complex shame vs. simple shame
Emotional safety in relationships
Overgiving as a form of control
Boundaries, resentment & self-worth
Healing through vulnerability and community
✨ Let's ask the real question: Are you showing up from love, or fear of disconnection?
Chapters & Timestamps:
00:00 – Welcome + Meet Dr. Zoe Shaw
02:00 – Why Dr. Zoe left traditional therapy for bigger impact
04:40 – How fear nearly stopped her from speaking
07:10 – Why the relationship with yourself is the hardest
09:15 – Cracked cups & complex shame
14:00 – How shame shows up in your daily life
17:30 – Why external compassion doesn’t always work
19:30 – The process of untangling shame
24:00 – Overgiving = control? Let’s talk about it
26:00 – The hidden cost of people-pleasing
28:00 – If they’re not okay, are you still okay?
30:00 – What emotional safety really means
33:00 – Boundaries, rejection & freedom
36:00 – Sisterhood and the healing power of community
37:30 – How to spot where your shame lives
39:00 – What Dr. Zoe is grateful for today
40:30 – Final reflection + free meditation + newsletter invite
🌐 Connect with Dr. Zoe Shaw:
Website: drzoeshaw.com
Instagram: @DrZoeShaw
Book: Stronger in the Difficult Places (available for pre-order now)
💛 Connect with Tiff Carson:
Website: tiffcarson.com
Instagram: @iamtiffcarson