I went into hiding like a wounded animal after a fight, afraid of its own bark and bite.
And it had to be that way.
Because this path is a solitary one.
My inner masculine energy tried to control the plummet and make it safe to drop into the dismantling. I didn’t respect his leadership (yet) so I forced it. Full speed MY way.
The first descent was into the desert of my abandoned inner children in exile.
I went on a search and rescue mission to bring.them.home.
I met my 4 year old at the opening of a cave she had been living in for who knows how long. She didn’t trust me enough to come out. She didn’t trust anyone. And she wouldn’t let me get close enough to her to see her, and ask what she needed that she wasn’t getting.
So I stayed there, for days.
I am here. I am not going anywhere.
Done.
Forcing your inauthentic readiness.
Done.
Forcing you to trust before you feel safe.
Done.
Auctioning off your preciousness to the highest bidder.
My desert angel. I am so sorry I kicked you out of the garden.
You can stay here in hiding as long as you would like. You have my full approval.
Calling off the rescue mission -permanently- was the highest act of love I could do…
I peeled away my too tight skin, licked my wounds and slid into the sureness of the soil.. for as long as it took for the parts that weren’t ready to be met, to come forward on their own accord. No force, no pressure, no agenda.
Until they forgot altogether what they were scared of and came out to play.
Episode #2 of The Dark Feminine Series
The Exiled Inner Parts
Listen now
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In reverence to the mastery of my teachers
Yin and Internal Family Systems, In Depth Psychology work with Kali Basman
And my mentor on the Dark Feminine influenced path Steffie funk