It's your Dirty Santa gift from HFM! Sara and Kat start a new holiday tradition of helping a depressed child write a special song about getting their mom laid, inspired by 2015's A Christmas Melody. This classic stars Logan, Tess, and.... Mariah Carey.

Apparently MC did "write" the song from the finale, and later "adapted its lyrics to be relevant for a child singing about her single mother finding love."

You can email us about your special relationship with your school custodian at hallmarkedformurder@gmail.com.