If you’ve ever felt unseen, stuck in your head, or unsure how to truly accept yourself, this episode will change the way you see yourself and others. Dr. Caroline Fleck has coached CEOs and taught at Stanford. She has made it her life’s work to help people turn pain into purpose. But her insights come from more than research - they come from living it. After battling depression, multiple sclerosis, and breast cancer, Dr. Fleck learned that the key to happiness and fulfillment isn’t avoiding pain…it’s transforming it.
This week, Mercedes and Anastasia are joined by Dr. Fleck to reveal how we can turn pain into purpose, make others feel truly seen, and find validation within ourselves when life gets hard (+ understand the importance of validation). With practical tips, real vulnerability, and profound wisdom, this episode is a masterclass in emotional strength and understanding yourself and your needs.
In this episode:
Why we're wired for validation (and why it's different from praise!).
Tips for self-validation & ways to make others feel seen.
The theory of 'Energy Is Not Created Nor Destroyed'.
Hacks to get out of your own head.
Your guide to being there for others who are going through a difficult time.
Whether you’re struggling to find your place, rebuilding after a setback, or simply trying to understand yourself better, Dr. Fleck’s story and actionable advice will remind you that self-acceptance isn’t weakness, it’s the foundation of real strength.
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Ready to Hack Your Happiness some more? Listen to our interview with psychologist, Sonja Lyubomirsky. In this episode, Sonja breaks down tangible ways to feel happier daily, how + WHY you should connect with loved ones, and reveals some of her most fascinating research: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5s4N05921PxTTiSYeVwCwf?si=cA4nWAZrQyuPOe3Rvgn7-A
(00:00) Welcome, Dr. Caroline Fleck!
(02:10) Curing Depression?
(05:55) What is DBT?
(07:50) Here's What it Means to Feel 'Seen'
(10:29) Tips For Making Others Feel Seen
(16:37) What If I Don't Feel Seen?
(20:11) Hacks For Self-Validation
(21:57) Copy Dr. Fleck's Nightly Self-Validation Routine
(26:34) Energy Cannot Be Created or Destroyed
(31:08) A Dark Moment That Taught Dr. Fleck a Life Lesson
(33:23) Praise vs External Validation
(35:53) What is the Validation Ladder?
(37:24) Hacks For Getting Out of Your Head
(42:36) Tips For Communicating Your Struggles
(46:55) Why is Acceptance Important?
(49:53) Biggest Lessons Dr. Fleck Teaches to Fortune 500 Companies
(52:23) Blueprint to Supporting Loved Ones Through Tough Times
(55:22) Want To Become A Psychologist? Start HERE
(56:32) You Can Master ANY Random Skill...
(57:53) Dr. Fleck To Her Teenage Self
(58:38) Dr. Fleck's Motivational Quote
(59:17) What Brings Dr. Fleck A Small Bit of Happiness?
(1:00:03) Find Dr. Fleck Here
(1:00:52) Key Takeaways