There are a few golden rules that can help us raise successful and confident children.
One of them is to believe in them, believe in their success, believe in their efforts and talents. In my practice I have seen some dysfunctional families. Many years ago I worked with one family. Both parents were unemployed and suffered from substance abuse. They were rarely home and children were neglected. But they had one very special and caring person in their life. The mother’s older sister Reema, lived in the same building and worked at the library. She helped raising three kids and spent a lot of her time with them. The kids loved their aunt. Reema was consistently kind and loving toward her two nephews and a niece.
In order to grow up with a strong physical and emotional health, children need to feel secure and safe.
Auntie Reema was that reliable, secure and loving caregiver who provided these children sense of safety they needed.
Not only safety. Auntie Reema gave these young kids something truly invaluable. She instilled unshakable faith in them that they would achieve success and will live a meaningful life with a fulfilling career! She programmed them that they will lead a happy and stable life when they grow up.
Twelve years later, despite the troublesome childhood with unstable parents, all three children graduated with high grades and have a higher education from prominent universities. Today they do what they love and hold great jobs in prestigious companies. They possess solid life values and morals. Of course, they were scarred by their childhood traumas and parental neglect. They are still working through some issues, like we all humans do.
When I asked them:
"Ok, guys, where did you find strength and energy to achieve great results and life and cultivated confidence?"
All three shared that Auntie Reema was their main PARENT who never stopped showing them love and to make them feel special and unique. She instilled in their mind that they were going to be successful and worthy of the best things’ life can offer. Don't we all need someone like Auntie Reema in our lives?
These are the things, Auntie Reema did for the kids:
1. She taught them main life values through books and conversations.
Values like honesty, kindness, hard work and responsibility.
2. She showed them with her own kindness and unconditional love how to live and how to love. She convinced them that GOD loves them dearly and always supports them and their dreams.
3. She believed in them and reminded them EVERY SINGLE DAY how exceptional and SPECIAL these children were.
4. She set high standards for them, encouraged to DREAM BIG and allowed them to make their own decisions
5. She supported them when they made mistakes and inspired them to find solutions.
They grew up as kind, responsible and self-reliant people.
The world needs more caregivers like Reema to show faith in our children, and to raise spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically healthy and strong future generations.
With Love, Gulnara Omar.
