In this episode of Grits and a Brit, our Southern co-host tries to wrap her head around the wonderfully bizarre world of Cockney rhyming slang—only to discover it’s less “English” and more like a secret code designed to confuse outsiders (especially Americans).

From “apples and pears” meaning stairs to “dog and bone” for phone, the Brit gleefully explains phrases that sound like nursery rhymes but somehow translate into everyday speech. Expect plenty of “Wait, how does THAT make sense?” moments, sarcastic eye-rolls, and a running debate on whether Cockney slang is clever wordplay or just an elaborate prank played on the rest of the world.

New episodes every second Tuesday.