The art and science of living a Good Life.
This is what I wrote on my vision board:
I have a life. May I honor that gift. May I make it as full and free and deeply human as possible for myself and others. May I never stop growing. May I never stop loving. May I never stop risking. May I never stop listening. May I never forget that everyone I meet has so much they can teach me if only I’m humble enough to learn. And if my hearts breaks, may I never forget to make sure it breaks open.
Welcome to the Odd Duck Optimist Club, my friends! For your daily dose of depth and lightness at the same time.
My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodmorgantherapy
Work with me: https://morganburch.com/takeaction
Who is Morgan? https://morganburch.com/about
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The art and science of living a Good Life.
This is what I wrote on my vision board:
I have a life. May I honor that gift. May I make it as full and free and deeply human as possible for myself and others. May I never stop growing. May I never stop loving. May I never stop risking. May I never stop listening. May I never forget that everyone I meet has so much they can teach me if only I’m humble enough to learn. And if my hearts breaks, may I never forget to make sure it breaks open.
Welcome to the Odd Duck Optimist Club, my friends! For your daily dose of depth and lightness at the same time.
My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodmorgantherapy
Work with me: https://morganburch.com/takeaction
Who is Morgan? https://morganburch.com/about
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodmorgantherapy
Work with me: https://morganburch.com/takeaction
Who is Morgan? https://morganburch.com/about
Email: https://morganburch.com/contact
Podcast Audio/Video: https://morganburch.com/podcast
I had a relative that I absolutely hated, because they always said the wrong thing at the wrong time. They were judgmental and critical. I knew that they loved me and I loved them, but I couldn’t feel it.
So I tried something that you’ve probably tried that didn’t work very well. I thought to myself “well, when I’m mean and judgmental, it’s because I had a bad day or was triggered by something, but when they are mean and judgmental, it’s because they are a mean and judgmental person who doesn’t care enough about me to be nice.” That made me pity them, which is not love.
So I went back to the drawing board, and I had a realization that transformed this relationship and so many others! I realized that a lot of people were trained to believe that the epitome of love is controlling somebody into safety. That’s what they were trying to do for me.
So, I started hearing those words under their judgments and criticisms. I started hearing “I love you so much and I’m terrified that you’re not gonna be safe unless XYZ.” And my response started to be “thanks for looking out for me“ and then, I’d either response to their advice or I wouldn’t, I’d take their advice or I wouldn’t.
I also set boundaries. I do this all day long, but I can't personally stomach just saying no yet.
So instead, I use this formula:
1. State my positive intent
2. State that I understand and am grateful for their positive intent
3. Draw the fluid boundary
With this person and some other difficult people, I do that first and if they still cross the boundary, I say "I can't talk about that" and give them something I *can* talk about. Usually, I ask them to teach me something - gardening, history, cooking, whatever they are into.
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