Why do Japanese parents judge your dating potential by how you hold chopsticks? In this eye-opening episode of the GoGen podcast, we dive deep into the unspoken rules of Japanese dating culture with two bilingual Japanese women who reveal the surprising deal-breakers that could end your romantic chances before they even begin.

From "charai" guys to chopstick etiquette, discover why table manners carry more weight in Japan than you might think – and how they reflect on your entire family's reputation. Our guests share personal stories, dating disasters, and cultural insights that every foreigner in Japan needs to know.

Episode #3-3 (Podcast 3, Part 3)

What you'll learn:

• Why "body touch" is a major red flag in Japanese dating
• The difference between Western flirting and Japanese "nanpa"
• How to navigate keigo vs casual speech on dates
• Japanese pick-up behavior: cheesy lines and genius twists
• Dating archetypes: 'Nikushoku' predators vs. 'sōshoku' passives
• The real reason Japanese women might choose to date foreigners
• The psychology behind "sodachi ga deru" (how manners reveal upbringing)

KEY JAPANESE TERMS:charai (チャラい) - flashy, player-likeicha-icha (イチャイチャ) - lovey-dovey behaviorkakehiki (駆け引き) - romantic tacticsnanpa (ナンパ) - picking up someonebody touch (ボディタッチ) - casual physical contactskinship (スキンシップ) - physical affectionnikushoku-kei (肉食系) - carnivore type (aggressive)sōshoku-kei (草食系) - herbivore type (passive)keigo (敬語) - polite languagetameguchi (タメ口) - casual speechsodachi ga deru (育ちが出る) - your upbringing shows

0:00 Introduction ('Charai' and Conservative Culture)

1:45 Associating 'Charai' with Flirtatious Behavior

2:18 Defining Flirting in English vs. Japanese

5:15 Exploring 'Icha Icha': Lovey-Dovey for Couples

10:45 'Kakehiki': Strategic Flirting and Tactics

13:40 'Body Touch' (Bodi Tacchi) as 'Charai' Red Flag

15:00 'Skinship' ('Sukinshippu'): Physical Connection Across Relationships

16:40 'Nikutai Kankei' and Physical Boundaries in Dating

19:15 Cultural Differences in Physical Contact (Hugs, Touches)

26:07 'Nanpa': Street Pick-Up Lines and Cliches

27:45 Creative 'Nanpa' Approaches and Reactions

32:48 'Nikushoku' vs. 'Sōshoku' Personality Types

34:30 Roll Cabbage and Asparagus Bacon Guys

35:28 Stigma of Clubbing and Aggressive Approaches

41:15 Spontaneous 'Nanpa' (Pick Up) in Places Like Shibuya

44:45 Politeness in Dating: 'Keigo', 'Tameguchi', and '-San'

53:15 Pressure of Japanese Dating Standards

57:25 Chopstick Etiquette and Table Manners

1:01:20 Judging Upbringing Through Eating Habits

1:06:25 Importance of Family Background in Japan

1:11:32 Outro and Thanks

This is Part 3 of a 3-part series on 'Charai' (player/shallow) and Japanese dating culture.

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