No talking on first dates? Coffee shops are OFF LIMITS? Welcome to dating in Japan.
In this episode (4-1), we uncover the unwritten rules of Japanese date spots with our bilingual Japanese guests. Learn why movie theaters are the strategic choice for first dates (hint: you don't have to talk OR make eye contact), why suggesting coffee might get you ghosted, and what "omochikaeri" really means 😏
Our guests share their real kokuhaku stories, including one that happened at her front door because he panicked. Plus: the dating app mentality, when you can finally Netflix & chill, and why Japanese women are judging your date planning skills from day one.
**🎬 IN THIS EPISODE:**• Why Japanese people choose movie theaters for first dates (it's strategic!)• The coffee shop hierarchy in Tokyo - and why it matters more than you think• "Omochikaeri" and other Japanese dating terms you need to know• Kokuhaku timing: Why the third date is crucial• The "effort test" - how Japanese women judge your date planning• Izakaya first dates: Red flag or totally fine?• What "sumāto" (smooth) really means in Japanese dating culture• Real kokuhaku stories from our guests
**🔑 KEY TERMS FROM THIS EPISODE:**• デートスポット (dēto supotto) - date spots• お出かけ (odekake) vs デート (date)• 告白 (kokuhaku) - confession• 初デート (hatsu-dēto) - first date• お持ち帰り (omochikaeri) - "takeout" 😏• チャラい (charai) - player/playboy• スマート (sumāto) - smooth (not "smart"!)• 保留 (horyū) - putting off/considering• インスタ映え (insta-bae) - Instagrammable
(00:00:00) Opening & Introduction
(00:01:35) Welcome & Today's Topic: Japanese Date Spots
(00:02:15) Why Movie Theaters Are Japan's #1 First Date Spot
(00:03:01) "You Don't Have to Talk" - The Strategy Explained
(00:04:06) No Eye Contact, Dark Room = Less Pressure
(00:05:06) Date vs Kokuhaku - What Counts as a "Date"?
(00:08:25) O-dekake vs Date - The Casual Alternative
(00:11:09) Izakaya First Dates - Good or Red Flag?
(00:12:11) Dating Apps in Japan (Tinder, Bumble, Tapple)
(00:13:51) Drinking Age & Izakaya Strategy
(00:14:34) "Omochikaeri" - The Dating Term You Need to Know
(00:20:02) My Coffee Date Disaster Story
(00:22:36) "Boys Don't Go to Cafés" - Gender & Coffee Shops
(00:23:42) Insta-bae Culture & Cute Cafés
(00:25:11) The 4 Types of Tokyo Coffee Shops Explained
(00:32:51) She CANCELED Because of the Coffee Shop
(00:35:00) The Effort Test - Why Location Matters So Much
(00:36:59) Japanese Women Judge Your Planning
(00:38:58) Dating App Expectations vs Real Life Meetings
(00:41:04) When Can You Netflix & Chill in Japan?
(00:43:50) Real Kokuhaku Story #1 - Three Dates to Confession
(00:45:12) "Please Be My Girlfriend" in Japanese
(00:46:19) Horyū - When She Says "Let Me Think About It"
(00:47:26) Why You MUST Kokuhaku on the Third Date
(00:49:12) Last-Minute Kokuhaku Panic Story
(00:50:52) What Does "Sumāto" (Smooth) Really Mean?
(00:53:59) Terrace House Dating Lessons
(00:57:39) Building Up to the Confession
(00:59:13) "Be a Man" - The Ultimatum Kokuhaku
(01:00:44) Aquarium Date & Kokuhaku Expectations
**📱 CONNECT:**Japanese Education on YouTube: @GoGenJapanese IG: ➡︎ https://www.instagram.com/gogenlanguages/X: ➡︎ https://tinyurl.com/35kunt5y
Website:https://www.gogenlanguages.com/Free tips and breakdowns of relationship/dating Japanese and culture! Listen to our Dating & Relationships Japanese Audio Course for free on the website!
