We are still talking about sexual intimacy.
Today’s focus is brilliantly described in the title of John Grey’s well-known book – ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’. In today’s world, a trend is to claim that men and women are the same, but this is not true – yes, we are equal but definitely not the same!
We constantly observe differences in men’s and women’s attitudes, needs and responses. This confirms the Scripture that declares that God created us ‘male’ and ‘female’. We are different and distinct, and this is also true when it comes to sex! Understanding these differences is foundational in developing a healthy, mutual satisfying sex life.
So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
GENESIS 1:27 (NIV)
When it comes to sex, we commonly observe differences between men and women in various areas.
For example – our attitudes towards sex, for men sex is a high priority and it’s physical, for women other priorities are higher and therefore sex is relational.
Stimulation for men is body-centred (what they see, smell and do is important) but women are person-centred so they focus on touch, attitudes and words.
Men want to feel that they are needed physically but women want to feel that they are needed emotionally.
For men it is anytime, anywhere and orgasms are shorter and intense, while women need time, build-up and orgasms are longer, more in-depth.
It is important to take note of this – but these differences are not concrete facts, there is no ‘ought to be‘.
Use this knowledge in your marriage to understand each another better – but enjoy the fact that you are a unique couple, and you are God’s perfect gift to one another.