Because so much of my partner's life energy and routines were bump centered, an inherently physically and emotionally taxing process. I initially wasn't as useful, or supportive as I could have been.  We didn't know how to communicate about our new need to divvy up this responsibility of bringing the child into the world in a way that makes sense.   One of the things I heard often, was the beautifully American way of making a directive statement in the form of a question. Do you want to buy that thing we spoke about? do you want to read that book?  It took us a while to sit down and have a good conversation about what my part in the 9 months was to be.  For instance, that looked like an increase in the share of household duties, research and logistical planning for birthing options, lining up assistance for the first weeks, not bringing sugary and fatty foods home to tempt her, encouraging physical activity, more frequent trips to the store before she got home from work, etc.   Knowing what I know now, it would have served us better if we had the needs and wants conversation early on in the pregnancy.  Not later than the 3rd or 4th month mark, because psychologically, it's just more real, and you're probably telling most friends and family at the end of the first trimester.  Also it's better have this conversation at the what are you doing phase, so it doesn't get to the do you think you want to do X phase. Having less stress is generally a good thing, it goes a lot further if there's less stress during pregnancy, so do your best to keep those cortisol levels low.  Watch out for a future episode on the link between stress and epigenetics