FixerUpperMarriage.org/messyAugust 5th, 2004 around 9 PMI am curled up on the cold, hard floor in the corner of a hospital room. And I am crying.The thing is, I don’t cry. I am like Clint Eastwood in those old spaghetti westerns. I never flinch, never panic, and I always have a plan. But not today. Instead, I am sobbing and hoping that no one sees me.It all started a couple of months after our wedding day. I had married the woman of my dreams. We loved each other madly, kissed passionately, and did everything together. When she told me I was in complete shock. It was late at night and I went outside, in the dark, to water the bushes I had planted a couple of weeks before. I was gone awhile before I was able to come back in and deal with the news.From that moment on, our lives changed forever. We spent money that we didn’t have preparing for a baby- our baby to come. Then the most incredible thing happened one night on the way home from church. Amber felt the baby move! It made everything different. Our excitement hit a fever pitch!Soon that all changed early one morning when she woke in intense pain. After a frantic drive to the hospital, we found out she was in labor, but it was way too early. I held her hand for hours until she finally had the baby. He was a perfect little boy, but he was lifeless. In the days, weeks, months, and years that followed we dealt with the pain, grief, and sorrow that accompany that kind of loss. It still hurts when I remember the cruel words of well-intentioned friends. It is the kind of loss that people just don’t know how to respond to. Somehow we made it through but not without scars and moments of complete frustration. We found out that life and love is messy. And it’s the mess that has defined our relationship over the years.The truth about love is that it is messy. So why is love so messy?Table of Contents
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Love is Messy BecauseAnd That’s OK
Love is Messy Because
* It Is Risky* It Is Free * It Is Prone to FailAnd That’s OK Because
* It Is Amazing* It is Relentless* It Is Dysfunctional Love is Messy BecauseIt Is Risky You can find the risk of love embedded in the Gospel story. Jesus loves you so much that he would give His life for you knowing that you might reject His offer of salvation. How many souls even say yes to Jesus only to someday turn their back on Him? Loving me is a risk that Jesus took to save me. Love is messy because it is risky.For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. -Romans 5:6-8 Security is an IllusionWe all work hard to build a sense of security in love. You share a bank account. You buy a house together. You even share your hopes and dreams with each other. But in reality, everything could change in a moment of time. It would just take one life event, or one spouse giving up on the relationship. You take for granted that your spouse will always be there. When dating, you did everything you could to keep them, but now, armed with a sense of security, you let down your guard and give in to the idea that your spouse will always be there. The Bible makes it clear that things are not so secure in this life.Boast not thyself of to morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth. -Proverbs 27:1Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell,
