FixerUpperMarriage.org/meNewsletterA Me 1st StoryI dropped the phone on my bed. It was late and something had just snapped inside of me. I am letting go of my phone, but actually I am letting go of something much bigger. And it feels good. It had taken me almost a year to get to this point, but I am here now trying to make sense of how I feel. I had just said something that at one time I wondered if I would ever be able to say. I didn’t know what would happen next, but it didn’t matter right now. Everything had just changed. I buried the hurt from everyone, and now it was coming back out. I knew once I said what I was going to say, I would never be able to take it back. So I paused for a moment, took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and just let the words come out. It took all the courage I could muster but I finally did it.At that moment I let go of me. I let go of my past. I let go of everything that I was holding on to that made me feel safe. It was like stepping off a cliff not knowing where I would land. Just a few minutes earlier I had slowly picked up the phone and punched in the number. My heart was racing and my hands were sweating as I listened to the ringing tone on the other end. The conversation wouldn’t really matter this time, only the last phrase. I kept repeating that phrase to myself in my head the whole time.When her voice picked up, I stumbled through the conversation for a while. Then I just said it. It was three little words that I knew would change me forever.I said, “I love you”.  And the response on the other end still echos in my mind 17 years later, “I Love you too.”  I gave in to love, and love gave in to me.“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”― C.S. Lewis, The Four LovesThis is Why and How You Should Have a Me 1st Marriage.


Table Of Contents

A Me 1st StoryThere Cannot Be Two without One FirstLove Is Ultimately a Self-Focused EmotionA Team Is Only as Good as Its MembersTake Time to Focus on Your Personal Well-BeingEvaluate Yourself PeriodicallyMake Personal Time for YourselfSummary

There Cannot Be Two without One FirstMarriage Is Like the Tango DanceWhen we were little, my sister and I would fight, and then blame each other for starting it. My mother would then say, “It takes two to tango!” She meant that it takes two people to fight, just like it takes two to perform the Tango dance!But marriage is like a life-long Tango dance. You hold each other tightly and maneuver through the rhythm of life together.You must have a partner to do itYou just can’t go solo in a Tango. You have to have a lover to love. You have to be lovable to be loved. The dance of love can only begin when the lovers ...