FixerUpperMarriage.org/soulmateThe search for your soul mate is promoted everywhere. Dating websites promise to find them with compatibility tests. Even the premise of many fairy tales is to find your one true love. Young people daydream about finding the perfect one for them. So the soul mate idea becomes a fantasy. And your expectations for your potential spouse skyrocket to the moon. The pressure mounts to find that one person out of 6,840,507,000 in the world. So you develop a wishlist for a potential soul mate.  In your mind, a fantasy of the perfect marriage partner evolves. This fantasy becomes the object of your search. Then comes the romantic notion that destiny will lead you to the one. The stars will align and the universe will put you together.How to Find Your Soulmate* Stop Looking for Your Soulmate* Look for Someone You Can Build a Lifetime Relationship With* Find Your Soulmate in the Spouse You Already have.1. Stop Looking for Your SoulmateThe problem is in the fantasy part of a soul mate. There is no one that fits the fantasy that you have developed in your mind. Every person is flawed including you. The soulmate ideal that you have conjured in your imagination is not real. Do the MathIf there is only 1 perfect person for you. You have a 1 in 10,000 chance of finding them, that’s a .010 percent chance. Still, according to a 2011 Marist Poll nearly 3 out 4 people believe they will find their soulmate. So you come up with the perfect person, and destiny puts you together. If the numbers mean anything, it’s not going to happen for you. According to National Geographic, there is 1 in 3,000 chance you will be struck by lightning during your lifetime. So, if I am doing the math right, you are more likely to be struck by lightning 3 times in your life than to find your fantasy soulmate.Stay Away from Trick or Treat DatingIt is the Halloween tradition for kids to wear costumes and go door to door through a neighborhood. They knock on a door and say “trick or treat” and when it is answered, the adult inside gives them candy. This is actually kinda scary, and it doesn’t seem safe to ask a complete stranger for candy!But this is how dating or courting is handled today. You put on a costume, go to a stranger, who is wearing a costume, and ask them to give you your favorite candy. You don’t show them the real you, and they don’t show you the real them. All you really want is some of that fantasy candy you have been dreaming about! So you find it, and they give it to you.So you meet a person who checks off some of your soulmate requirements. And your mind races to a fantasy future with that person. You compare that person to your fantasy. And with the costume and candy it’s hard to see all the parts about that person that don’t match your fantasy.Eventually, the infatuation wears off. The costumes come off and the candy gets stale. And you find out that your soulmate wasn’t your soulmate after all! You tried to force that person into the image that you had of your perfect mate. Come to find out, they just didn’t fit it. It’s called confirmation bias. It’s when wishful thinking causes you to only see the positive qualities of your soul mate and not the negative ones. It’s like conducting a science experiment when you have already drawn a conclusion.Real Love Doesn’t Work Like a Fairy TaleI think a lot of people have gotten the idea that the marriage ceremony is the goal of love. It’s like the Disney movie when Prince Charming finds Snow White.