FixerUpperMarriage.org/ruinMarriage is like a house.  There are things you can do or not do, that can over time ruin the property.  When you don’t fix things when they break, or do preventive maintenance, your house can go from nice to run down and maybe even unlivable.  Your marriage is the same way, if you just ignore your problems or refuse to work at preventing them, your marriage can go from nice to run down, or maybe even unlivable!  Learn how to change the things that ruin your marriage.1. Ignore Your SpouseListening is a key part of succeeding in a marriage relationship.   It is like my relationship with God, knowing that He is listening to me, gives me comfort and security.  And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:  And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him. I john 5: 14-15Knowing that your spouse cares enough about you to listen to what you have to say creates comfort and security in your relationship.  Likewise, if you don’t listen to your spouse it gives them the signal that you don’t care about what they have to say.The LISTEN MethodLLook at your spouse- Make eye contact when you are listening.  Even if you are “multitasking”, giving your undivided attention lets your spouse know that you care.IInitiate conversations- Ask about how their day is going, or how things were at work.  This confirms that you actually care about the things you are asking about.SSupport your spouse when listening.  Listen with understanding. Practice listening, so that you can summarize what your spouse is saying if needed.TTalk with your spouse.  Participate in the conversation.  This sends the unmistakable signal that you want to be involved with what is important to your spouse.EEngage in the conversation.  Ask follow up questions to learn about the context of the conversation.NNourish the conversation.  Keep conversations with your spouse alive and new.  Learn to enjoy being a part of the conversation. Make listening your pastime.Stop talking about yourselfYou talk about the things that are important to you and expect your spouse to listen.  However, your spouse may have some things that are important to them. Sometimes it may be time to stop talking and listen to what your spouse has to say.  This is when listening becomes incredibly intimate.  To think that my spouse is so interested in me, that she would stop talking about the things that she cares about to find out what I care about!  This is an act so personal, it sparks a flame of passion that you can’t find anywhere else in this world.  Have you ever experienced God answering a prayer for you?  If not, I would highly recommend that you ask for some specific, personal things from God. (see James 4: 2-3)  It is like your faith in Him just explodes! I believed that He was listening to me, now I absolutely know that He was not only listening, but He cared about what I was saying to him.The marriage relationship can be similar.  If you know that your spouse is listening to you, the joy in your marriage will just explode!  It is just another way that the marriage covenant reflects the story of the Gospel. He loves us with a love that is so intense, that it inspires Him to listen.  Love your spouse with a love so intense, that it inspires you to listen.2.  Be Greedy The Gospel story involves a giving that is unimaginable.  God gave his son.For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3: 16He traded the life of His Son for unworthy sinners.  It was a trade for people who cared nothing about Him,