My name is Monica, and in the enneagram of personality I’m a self-preservation 5w4. Long story short: I tend to self-sabotage by avoiding vulnerability, observing rather than participating, doubting my knowledge, overanalyzing, minimizing my needs, over-focusing on details, and being stubbornly independent. But I'm tired of getting in my own way. So here I am, opening myself up, taking risks, and sharing reflections and wisdom along the way. With plenty of mixed metaphors and minimal editing—by design and out of necessity.
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My name is Monica, and in the enneagram of personality I’m a self-preservation 5w4. Long story short: I tend to self-sabotage by avoiding vulnerability, observing rather than participating, doubting my knowledge, overanalyzing, minimizing my needs, over-focusing on details, and being stubbornly independent. But I'm tired of getting in my own way. So here I am, opening myself up, taking risks, and sharing reflections and wisdom along the way. With plenty of mixed metaphors and minimal editing—by design and out of necessity.
This one is all about the first stage of dating: preparing. If you want your dating life to look different or bring a different outcome, take a pause and reorient. I give you a few tips and starting places in this episode, including:
- Let your mind know what you’re doing and get its support
- Get clear on your what and your why
- Make your Mary Poppins list (inspiration: https://youtu.be/fNTzp9grp2Q)
- Give your mind work: investigate old patterns, outdated and subconscious operating instructions that have been landing you in not-ideal relationships, research dating apps or other ways of meeting people
- Recruit trusted others
- Recruit spirit
🔥 Bonus tidbit: Learn to differentiate between attractions from your wound and attractions from essence. Not just in romance, but in attraction of all kinds. When you feel yourself drawn to someone or something, ask yourself if the pull is from your wound (wanting to go back in and try for a different outcome), or from a connection of love, trust, and oneness. If you don’t know, commit to just asking the question. Answers will eventually come, and your life will open up in big ways.
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This is the first in a series about relationships: romantic, friendships, and others. If you have specific comments, requests, or questions about relating as a Five, send them my way! Find me on Instagram @un.fiving, send an audio message in Spotify, or email me at unfiving@gmail.com.
Music by Sleeping At Last
fiving: an enneagram 5 in progress
My name is Monica, and in the enneagram of personality I’m a self-preservation 5w4. Long story short: I tend to self-sabotage by avoiding vulnerability, observing rather than participating, doubting my knowledge, overanalyzing, minimizing my needs, over-focusing on details, and being stubbornly independent. But I'm tired of getting in my own way. So here I am, opening myself up, taking risks, and sharing reflections and wisdom along the way. With plenty of mixed metaphors and minimal editing—by design and out of necessity.
