Quick! What has 14 legs, one bed, and half a potato? Why, the Bucket family, of course! 

Join the gang as we cover the first half of Roodle Doodle's classic, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. You all know how the story goes, but you haven't heard it told by us. Rachel doxxes herself. Bekah learns about the Wonka-related scandal of the year. Jackie has never even once thought about smothering grandma Josephine with a pillow. 

Topics include: freakish fertility, doppelgängers, girlfriends who are worms, boyfriends who have skeletons in them, ontological incorrectness, universally detested children, masseter Botox, cabbage soup, Scotland's Wonka Experience, the Unknown, a secret hoard of one coin, naked cat vibes, backhanded compliment-insults, and issuing rebukes in a flutelike voice.