Videos/articles mentioned:
https://open.substack.com/pub/tooambitious/p/my-motherhood-penalty
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNdA1xgDP/
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJElSmvJ-YD/
The motherhood decision hits different when you're 29 and watching the system punish women either way. In this episode, I'm unpacking why choosing to have kids or stay child-free both feel like lose-lose situations - and it's not your fault.
We're diving deep into the motherhood penalty (31% less income), the fatherhood bonus (6% more per child), and why the infrastructure supporting women's choices is completely broken.
This isn't a pros and cons list - it's about understanding the structures behind the fear, guilt, and pressure that make this choice feel so heavy.
Plus, I'm sharing a practical reflection method to help you make peace with whatever decision feels right for you. If you're grappling with the motherhood question or know someone who is, this episode is for you.
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🎧 Not financial advice. Financially hot advice. *This content is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute financial advice. I am not a financial adviser, and you should always do your own research or speak to a qualified professional before making financial decisions. Investments can go up and down in value and you may get back less than you invest. Capital is at risk.
00:00 – Intro: Why motherhood feels heavy now
01:27 – Timing, fear, and the lose-lose dilemma
02:53 – This is not a pros and cons list
03:48 – Economic breakdown: the motherhood penalty
06:42 – The fatherhood bonus vs the mum tax
09:59 – The emotional toll we don’t talk about
12:23 – Real women’s feedback + TikTok takes
13:48 – The grief of choosing childfree
15:17 – The false binary: kids vs freedom
17:13 – What would real support look like?
18:39 – Why childfree people need better systems too
20:31 – Micro solutions while we fight for macro change
20:57 – The real question: how do I want to feel?
22:15 – A reflection exercise to get unstuck
23:41 – The truth about choice, privilege & pressure
24:36 – Final thoughts + how to join the convo
