That was me. I was like that. I felt that way. I cried those tears. I felt so much pressure and so overwhelmed by my inability to rise to the expectations on me. Most of those expectations weren’t communicated to me - I assumed that others expected such and such and so I expected it of myself. The problem was that the expectations were impossible. A man who had been a missionary for decades told me that he had also struggled with trying to be the ideal missionary. The “ideal missionary” as he described it, somehow spent every hour of every day sharing the Gospel, leading Bible studies, and praying. How they find time to do laundry, develop new skills, have rest and recreation - well, that hasn’t been considered.

https://matt2thailand.wordpress.com/2023/03/01/trying-to-be-the-ideal-missionary/