Listen in to this episode of Empowering Postpartum, where I welcome relationship coaches Brianna and Mark Carey of Intimacy Evolution for a great discussion all about navigating the transition from partners to parents. The Careys share invaluable insights on maintaining connection during the postpartum period, including practical tips for communication, managing expectations, and carving out time for each other amidst the demands of new parenthood.
About Our Guests:
Brianna Carey is a Relationship & Intimacy coach with over 15 years of experience as a sexual health educator. After the birth of her son in 2015, she and her husband quickly realized the lack of support new parents have in nurturing their relationship after having a baby. Brianna works with women who are ready to reclaim their desire & to feel empowered in exploring their pleasure. Together with her husband, Mark Carey, a Licensed Professional Counselor, they work with couples on how to create deeper connections, stronger communication and learn how to enjoy more fulfilling intimacy after having a baby.
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Show Notes:
Introduction of guests Brianna and Mark Carey, relationship and intimacy coaches (01:29)
Brianna has 16+ years of experience as a sexual health educator
Mark is a licensed professional counselor for 10+ years
They developed their approach after experiencing challenges in their own relationship post-baby
The importance of redefining roles and expectations after having a baby (07:26)
Discuss how relationship dynamics shift with each new child
Emphasize the need for open, honest conversations about new roles
Suggest making lists of responsibilities and what can be outsourced or eliminated
Tips for managing household responsibilities postpartum (09:20)
Recommend simple, easy solutions to reduce stress (ie. using paper plates to reduce dishes)
Suggest freezer meals and simplifying household tasks
Advise being realistic about what can be accomplished during healing
Addressing feelings of loneliness and disconnection in new parenthood (10:45)
Discuss the importance of understanding each other's connection needs
Introduce the concept of "connection profiles" and love languages
The impact of societal pressure on new mothers (12:51)
Communicating desires and needs effectively with your partner (18:22)
Introduce a three-step process: express feelings, state desires, commit to action
Emphasize the importance of expressing desires without attachment to outcomes
Dealing with unexpected responses triggered by past experiences (26:38)
Discuss how having children can bring up unresolved issues from one's own childhood
Emphasize the need for self-awareness and open communication
The need for individual decompression time for both partners (33:01)
Eye gazing as a powerful tool for reconnection (36:19)
The importance of getting back into your body for emotional connection (38:17)
Weekly check-ins as a game-changer for relationships (40:03)
Describe the structure of their weekly check-ins
Emphasize how this practice can prevent miscommunications and conflicts
Practical tips for scheduling and planning to reduce conflict (42:11)
Suggest using shared calendars for all activities and meals
Recommend scheduling intentional connection time and exercise together
Balancing logistics with intentional connection activities (44:15)
Advise "sandwiching" logistical discussions between connection activities
Suggest brief check-ins on relationship satisfaction and areas for improvement
Connect with Brianna and Mark