What does it really mean to love as a Black man or woman in a society shaped by grief, abandonment, and unspoken expectations? In this Earth Xperiences episode, host Dani sits down with @this.cypher to explore the emotional cost of Black love in a world that often values performance over presence.
Together, they examine how unprocessed pain and systemic trauma shape our relationships. Justin Scott shares powerful insights on identity, grief, dominance, and the difference between performative love and real connection. He explains why many men remain uninitiated and why some women unknowingly become stages for men who have not yet met themselves.
They ask honest questions that too often go ignored.
Why do so many relationships start with a need to be seen but collapse from emotional neglect?
How does capitalism shape what we find attractive?
What are women risking by trying to fix men who have not faced themselves?
Can a mother teach her son to respect women if he only sees her through identity, not presence?
Are Black people mistaking patterns and perception for truth?
The episode also explores media culture and visibility, with a breakdown of shows like Pop the Balloon. Justin explains why we are stuck in a mirror world, where white supremacist metrics influence Black connection and love becomes a performance loop with no resolution.
Whether you are dating, parenting, healing, or simply observing the online chaos between Black men and women, this conversation opens a window into what is really happening beneath the surface. It reveals how much of our relationship pain is rooted in grief, misdirection, and a desperate need to be witnessed instead of fixed.
Questions explored in this episode include
What is performative love and how does it impact relationships?
Why do many Black men struggle to embrace humility?
Can women protect themselves without giving up on Black love?
Is the content in our feeds keeping us angry on purpose?
What does it look like to parent without rushing to a solution?
This episode is a call to name what hurts, not to assign blame, but to make space for real repair. If you are ready to think deeper, feel slower, and sit with the discomfort of truth, you are in the right place.
About the Creator
Justin Scott
Instagram: @this.cypher
TikTok: @cypher.j
Website: https://cypherj.substack.com