Episode 79: The Summer I Turned Pretty Season 2 Episodes 1-2
We're back at Cousins Beach! Well, sort of. Join us as we dive into the messy aftermath of Season 1, where Belly's love triangle has officially imploded, Susanna has passed away, and everyone's dealing with grief in the most dramatic way possible.
What You're Getting Into: Belly's grades have tanked, she's been demoted from volleyball captain, and she's fallen asleep in French class (fitting, since this show makes about as much sense as The Hunger Games en français). Meanwhile, Steven's delivering the world's most plagiarized valedictorian speech while going viral on TikTok, because apparently "you are happening to the world" is peak inspirational content.
The Real Stars: A late-90s cover band featuring Milo, who thinks ripping his shirt off while butchering Lit makes him hardcore. We get treated to the worst renditions of "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" and "My Own Worst Enemy" ever committed to television. It's like watching a Buffy the Vampire Slayer Bronze performance, but somehow even more painful.
Peak Dumpster Moments:
Timeline Confusion Alert: We're bouncing between past and present faster than a tennis match, with color-toned flashbacks that are about as subtle as a brick to the face. Good luck keeping track of when anything actually happened.
The Verdict: This season manages to be even more depressing than Season 1, which we didn't think was possible. Between the melodramatic brooding, questionable decision-making, and enough teenage angst to power a small city, we're in for a wild ride.
Coming Up: More episodes of cousin drama, because apparently we hate ourselves. Fire in the Sky gets bumped for more Beach House shenanigans.
Warning: May cause spontaneous eye-rolling and an inexplicable craving for Auntie Anne's pretzels.