This episode is also available as a blog post: http://mydoctor.blog/2022/08/30/love-your-critics/
August 30, 2022
I have usually written about my extremely uncomfortable situations and life incidents and found gold at the end of them. To begin with, who are our real critics? There are some good and authentic critics and then there are fake critics. While living my life alone and abroad, i have come across both. I had to figure out the secret to finding my good critics on my own by experiments with writing, judgemental posts and several controversial situations. I do not recommend this to anyone but i am sure this will help all.
While recognising critics I found common amongst both groups was that they had issues that they like to discuss with you. The good authentic ones usually take more time to explain to you and help you grow. The fake ones are usually the jealous ones and sometime even very malicious who can not parallel to your ways so they like to pull you down by saying things in a quick cryptic way. The malicious critics usually try to make it seem a common incident and generalise you and specifically point things that they themselves can never achieve. The good authentic critics would take time and make suggestions. They also take personal examples to make you feel like you are allowed to make mistakes and can often outgrow them. The bad critics make you feel like you have caused irreparable damage.
Learn to love both of the categories. I have learnt to love my overtly critical mother and my fake critics as well. In doing so, I learnt so much about their personalities and their thoughts without them having to explain and show their faces. I love how they express their regret, guilt, love, anger, and jealousy all while they are criticising you. Sometimes their bias also comes forward! Imagine learning so much about people who can improve you by just loving these critics.
To be honest, whether it’s a fake critic or a good one, they are all fascinated with what you do, or else who would have the time to articulate words, situations, stories and such big paragraphs about how bad you did, how horrible you are at doing something. Either way, it’s a gain for you when you love them. The best would come if you befriend them and do an in-depth study of their characters, its hilarious and immensely entertaining how good critics try to improve you genuinely and bad ones go out of their way in the most entertaining ways to pull you down. Stand there with both, eat out with them and hug them while leaving because they are your real fans!
I have improved after I have taken criticism in and let the bad things go away as entertainment. I have learnt with a lot of difficulties to come out of my comfort zone and challenge myself to spend more time with them. Try it and see who your real friends are. Also, remember that life is a journey and experiments with people and your personal life makes it a hell lot interesting.