Doorknob Comments was named for a phenomenon that sometimes happens at the end of a therapy session, when the patient may mention something important and riddled with conflict, right as you’re walking out the door. Equal parts frustrating and enlightening, it surfaces key issues which may--or may not!-- get addressed anytime soon.
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Doorknob Comments was named for a phenomenon that sometimes happens at the end of a therapy session, when the patient may mention something important and riddled with conflict, right as you’re walking out the door. Equal parts frustrating and enlightening, it surfaces key issues which may--or may not!-- get addressed anytime soon.
In this episode, Grant and Fara have a conversation with Dr. Robin Stern, the Co-Founder and Senior Advisor for the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. Dr. Stern is also the author of The Gaslight Effect [https://www.amazon.com/Gaslight-Effect-Survive-Manipulation-Control/dp/0767924452] and the host of The Gaslight Effect Podcast [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-gaslight-effect-podcast/id1645322193]. They delve into Dr. Stern's journey in exploring gaslighting, the common tactics used by gaslighters in relationships, the role of shame and isolation for victims, and much more. Drawing from her 30 years of experience in treating individuals, couples, and families, Dr. Stern offers valuable insights into gaslighting dynamics and the steps to reclaiming one's narrative.
We hope you enjoy!
Key Takeaways
The longer you're in a relationship where you're second-guessing your reality and accommodating the other, the harder it is to leave.
Many times shame can begin to creep into gaslighting relationships. Victims might be ashamed to bring their gaslighters behavior up to family and friends, and can further isolate themselves.
In This Episode
[0:00] Introduction
[1:05] Episode Overview
[02:30] Robin's Journey to Exploring Gaslighting
[10:10] Red Flags and Disavowal
[17:15] 'Stage 3' of Gaslighting
[18:40] Masquerading Gaslighting in Relationships
[22:10] The Role of Isolation and Shame
[24:30] Reclaiming Reality and Pushing Back
[27:40] Gaslighting vs. Other Forms of Dysfunctional Communication
[30:40] Navigating Behavioral Intention
[33:55] What about Gaslighters?
[35:40] Closing Thoughts
Resources and Links
Doorknob Comments
https://www.doorknobcomments.com/
Dr. Robin Stern
https://robinstern.com/
https://howwefeel.org/
Dr. Fara White
https://www.farawhitemd.com/
Dr. Grant Brenner
https://www.granthbrennermd.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/grant-h-brenner-md-dfapa/
Doorknob Comments
Doorknob Comments was named for a phenomenon that sometimes happens at the end of a therapy session, when the patient may mention something important and riddled with conflict, right as you’re walking out the door. Equal parts frustrating and enlightening, it surfaces key issues which may--or may not!-- get addressed anytime soon.
