DOG PARKS ARE fascinating. Little plots of abandoned real estate lined by a fence all thanks to yours truly, the taxpayer. In theory, they sound like a great idea, but Dirt is not a big fan, and neither is his dad. To a herding dog like Dirt, anything deemed as un-organized is chaotic and overwhelming, and a dog park is pretty much nothing more than a designated place for unorganized canine chaos.

It wasn’t long before Dirt and I got sick of the doodlers being all up in our business and we decided to find other places to exercise. Without giving away all our secrets, public schools tend to have some of the best-kept soccer and baseball fields around, not to mention phenomenal jungle gyms.