Your Yard

I Thessalonians 4:4

That each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor. 

No one can be responsible for you. Here’s a good way to illustrate this. We each have our own yard. No one else can step onto your yard and plant flowers or shrubs just because they want to. No one can decide to dump their garbage each week on your lawn, or let their dog do its business there. This is your yard and they have no right doing anything on it. You, on the other hand, can plant flowers and shrubs, choose to dispose of your garbage properly or let it pile up, and if you own a dog, you can let it do its business anywhere on your yard you choose or not. It is your yard. Our feelings and attitudes are ours. If we will take responsibility for them, we can solve problems with them and make powerful decisions for our life. Whoever makes us angry is not responsible for it. Our anger is a sign that someone has sinned against us. Matthew 18:15 tells us, “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” Moses also wrote in Leviticus 19:17, “Do not hate a fellow Israelite in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in their guilt.” If I am the one dealing with these feelings, I am the one responsible for them. Moses tells us we can reprove the one we are angry at, or allow this anger to turn into bitterness and hate. The anger will be resolved if we can talk it out with the offender and the relationship be healed and better. “Iron sharpens iron.” Each of the persons who have been in the conflict will be better for working it out. If we choose not to deal with our feelings, they can turn into bitterness and hatred and continue to fester. Back to our analogy—it is our yard. We can choose or not choose to deal with whatever is happening in it. It’s not someone else’s responsibility. Likewise, you are not responsible for what is going on in someone else's yard. You’re not responsible for others’ attitudes. Putting expectations on others is not our job in life. We usually end up complaining and becoming disappointed with them. When we begin to take responsibility for our own attitudes, then we begin to be set free from the expectations of others who try to put them on us. A pattern of thinking that is not healthy is to play the victim because of others’ expectations of us. Slow down and figure out where that attitude has come from, and process how you can be freed from the expectations of others when they try to put expectations on us. God has healing and health for you in every area of your life. He has great freedom and blessings as well.

What about you? Are you free and at peace in your feelings and attitudes in your life? Do you have healthy boundaries where you are free to live your life led by the Lord and not others? Take some time to be with the Lord today, and let Him talk to you about any areas of your life that you may need healing. Rest in Him that He will speak and lead you to a healthy, balanced place in your life. Blessings on your day.