This week we dive into the straight generic of Sabrina Carpenter. Tim becomes intoxicated by what he hates and Melletios has a revelation about dildos. We discuss how Carpenter’s almost all white, all straight women audience are a symptom of late-stage heterosex, where desire goes to die and find solidarity and acrimony in a shared aisthesis ofdisappointment. Carpenter’s explicit generic is both camouflage and capitulation to compulsory heterosexuality. Her songs are palliative measures to get us to the end. Like the unused dildo beside the marital bed, Carpenter promises afantasy that buys us some time. What we do with that time is the only question we have left. Whatever you do, don’t waste it listening to us.