Ghosts of Boyfriends Past

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Dating in Your 20s

Amelia Abernathy & Lilly Wehman

17 episodes

1 day ago

Hosted by Amelia and Lilly, two licensed therapists based in Chicago, Illinois, Dating in Your 20s dives into the chaos, comedy, and complexity of modern dating — all through a therapeutic lens. As two women in their 20s, Amelia and Lilly are in the trenches themselves, navigating everything from bad Hinge dates and ghosting to social media comparison and the pressure of modern relationships. With a mix of humor, honesty, and clinical insight, each episode blends real-life dating experiences with psychological frameworks like attachment theory, emotional regulation, communication styles, and more. Whether you're healing from heartbreak, stuck in a situationship, or just wondering why dating feels so complicated right now, Amelia and Lilly are here to help you feel a little less alone — and a lot more understood.

All content for Dating in Your 20s is the property of Amelia Abernathy & Lilly Wehman and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

Ghosts of Boyfriends Past

Dating in Your 20s

36 minutes

2 months ago

Ghosts of Boyfriends Past

The Ghosts of Boyfriends Past — we all have them, but how much do they actually shape who we are in relationships today? In this episode of Dating in Your 20s, Amelia and Lilly spill the tea on how exes linger in our minds and what it means for dating in the here and now. From the emotional baggage that sneaks into new relationships to the little patterns we repeat without realizing it, we’re unpacking it all.

We’ll talk about things like projection (a.k.a. putting your old partner’s stuff on your new one), transference (when your new boo gets blamed for what your ex did), and hypervigilance (the overthinking spiral where you’re constantly on guard). Sounds heavy, but don’t worry—we’re mixing the real talk with laughter, honesty, and a little bit of therapy wisdom.

Therapeutic Takeaways

Awareness is everything. The first step in breaking old patterns is noticing when your ex’s “ghost” shows up in your current relationship.
Give yourself grace. Healing isn’t linear—past relationships leave marks, but they don’t have to define your future.
Stay curious, not critical. Instead of judging yourself for slipping into old habits, ask: “What is this trying to teach me?”
Therapy helps. Talking about your “ghosts” in a safe space can help you release what’s no longer serving you.

Whether you’re haunted by an old situationship or just want to better understand your dating brain, this episode is your permission slip to face the ghosts, laugh at the cringe, and grow in the process.

Related Episodes:

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com