Do you believe that Love Wins? Dates & Mates is a finalist for our first-ever Signal Award, and we need every single listener to make their voice heard. We are the ONLY relationship-focused and independently produced podcast nominated in the How To & Advice category.  If you have ever been helped, inspired, or changed by listening to this podcast, this is the moment to let me know. It takes 30 seconds or less to VOTE at damonahoffman.com/award.  ********************************** You've mastered the logistics of life together, but somewhere along the way, you stopped actually living it together. This week, a listener shares: "I'm lonely in my own marriage. We've been together 12 years and we're like this well-oiled machine. Kids get to practice, bills are paid, house doesn't fall apart, but that's it. We don't actually talk anymore, just coordinate. Last week I realized we hadn't had a real conversation in probably two months. When I brought it up, he was like, 'what's wrong? We're good. We don't fight.' But I'm dying here. I miss my husband." In this episode, Damona explores what happens when couples perfect the art of co-managing but lose the skills of co-connecting. You'll hear why functional doesn't have to mean emotionally empty, and how to bridge the gap when one person doesn't even see the problem. What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why becoming a "well-oiled machine" can actually work against your relationship How to practice intimacy skills the same way you schedule soccer practice The difference between absence of conflict and presence of connection Why two months without real conversation signals an emotional drought How to get from logistics to feelings without blindsiding your partner What "relationship amnesia" looks like and how to recover those lost skills Why missing someone who's sitting right next to you hits so differently Resources & Links: Got a relationship question? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook Leave a voicemail or text: 424-246-6255 Dates & Mates is a finalist for a Signal Award! We need your support to ensure Love Wins! Vote for Dates & Mates at damonahoffman.com/award Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens if you get to the third date and it still feels awkward? Grin and bear it? Or keep waiting for chemistry? And how can you trust that your gut is telling you the right thing? This week, a listener shares: "I met a man who checks every box on paper. He’s kind, reliable, matches my values… but I feel absolutely nothing. No spark. No butterflies. Is something wrong with me?" In this episode, Damona shares the truth about emotional resonance, why the three-date rule isn’t a trap, and how to tell the difference between being too picky and being truly honest with yourself.  You’ll hear how to identify the signals your body sends you, why humor matters more than you think, and why being “decent” should never be the bar. What You'll Hear In This Episode: What the three-date rule really means (and what it doesn’t) Why “good on paper” doesn’t always translate to connection How to tell if you're genuinely curious or just people-pleasing The surprising role of humor in long-term compatibility How to do an energy check after every date What your nervous system is trying to tell you The difference between settling and staying open Connect With Us: Get your copy of "F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story" Unlock the Secret to Successful Dating with our ⁠⁠Date Tracker⁠⁠ Call or text your question to: 424-246-6255 Follow @damonahoffman on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠, and submit questions via DM or voice memo anytime. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Damona is joined by her longtime friend, TV and TikTok superstarMatchmaker Maria, a fourth-generation matchmaker with no time for fairy tale fluff.  They get real about why dating feels so lonely now,, the truth about relationship timelines, and why your deep texting doesn’t count as actual connection. Whether you're stuck on the apps or spiraling in dating burnout, Maria shares practical tools from her new book Ask a Matchmaker that will help you reset your mindset, clarify your compatibility, and finally stop waiting for someone to “just get it.” What You’ll Hear In This Episode Why dating has become a solo sport and what to do about it The truth about the male loneliness epidemic and community loss How siloization is killing our dating lives Maria’s 5 pillars of compatibility and why they actually work How the 12-Date Rule leads to real connection (and yes, sex can wait) The sneaky trap of texting-as-dating Why bangs and Alicia Keys might be holding you back Resources and Links Connect with Maria on Instagram. Facebook, and TikTok Get the book ⁠Ask a Matchmaker⁠ Unlock the Secret to Successful Dating with our ⁠Date Tracker⁠ Call or text your question to: 424-246-6255 Follow @damonahoffman on ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠TikTok⁠, and ⁠Facebook⁠, and submit questions via DM or voice memo anytime. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We often talk about romance, but this week, we’re taking a closer look at the quiet epidemic affecting millions: the erosion of deep friendships and emotional openness, especially among men. What happens when someone says “I miss you”... and it feels too risky to say it back? How do cultural norms shape our ability to express care, and how can we start to rebuild emotional intimacy, not just in partnerships, but in friendships too? This week’s episode was inspired by a friend of the show, Douglas, whose candid moment with his wife sparked a much bigger conversation about vulnerability, gender norms, and the loneliness many are too afraid to name. This week, a listener shares: “Last night my wife told me she was getting lunch with a friend after getting a text that said ‘I miss you.’ I told her it’s nice women can say that — but guys can’t. She insisted we could. I’m not convinced. What do you think?” What You’ll Hear In This Episode: Why men’s close friendships have declined dramatically in the last 30 years How emotional repression becomes loneliness, rage, and disconnection Why “guys don’t say I miss you” is a cultural myth we need to break The generational shift that teaches boys to shut down emotional expression Three step-by-step scripts to help you reconnect or form new friendships How to create low-pressure connection points that foster deeper bonds Why you don’t need permission to reach out,  just a little courage Resources & Links: Unlock the Secret to Successful Dating with our Date Tracker Call or text your question to: 424-246-6255 Follow @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook, and submit questions via DM or voice memo anytime. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve all had that one date…the one that felt like lightning. Everything clicks, and before you know it, you're imagining forever. But when you act on that high too quickly, reality can come crashing down hard. This week, a listener shares: “Late at night, I had to get these thoughts off my mind. I told her I felt like I think I'd found my wife. She expressed that she was disappointed that I would say this after what she told me about moving too fast and that it was best we not see each other.” In this episode, Damona breaks down what really happens when you come on too strong — and why even the most intense connection can’t be rushed. You’ll hear how fantasy thinking can override our better judgment, why texting late at night can sabotage a budding connection, and how to make amends when you've crossed a line. Most importantly, Damona offers real steps for recovery, both emotional and relational. The neuroscience behind why we overshare when we feel a spark How to tell if it’s a true connection or a fantasy projection Why texting your feelings late at night is rarely a good move What to say if you’ve overwhelmed someone with big emotions How to show up as your full self without rushing the process The one mistake people make after hearing someone’s boundary A script for taking accountability while leaving the door open Download the Frustration-Free Dating Guide: DamonaHoffman.com Leave a voicemail or text your question: 424-246-6255 Follow @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook DM or voice memo your question to be featured in a future Dear Damona segment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Grief changes us, and sometimes, it’s also what brings us together. This week, a listener shares: “My partner and I both lost our spouses, and we bonded over that. Now, three months in, I’m the only one opening up and being vulnerable. Am I asking too much? Or moving too fast?” In this episode, Damona explores what it really means to show up emotionally after loss, and why vulnerability often doesn’t look the same from both sides. You’ll hear how to honor your own emotional pace, set gentle boundaries, and recognize the difference between emotional availability and avoidance—even when love is in the room. What You’ll Hear In This Episode: Why shared grief doesn’t always mean shared emotional timing How to spot different expressions of vulnerability (and not miss what’s there) What to do when language that’s meant to be playful actually feels off How to speak up about emotional needs without creating conflict Why “moving in” can’t solve emotional distance Resources & Links: Download Damona’s Frustration Free Dating Guide at DatesandMates.com Got a question? Text or leave a voicemail for Damona at 424-246-6255 Follow @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook Submit your question via voice memo or DM to have it answered on a future episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Friendships can be some of our most important relationships, but they don’t always stay the same.  Careers, relationships, moves, and life stages can all shift the way we connect, sometimes leaving us wondering if the closeness we once had is gone for good. This week, a listener shares: “My best friend and I used to share everything. Lately, it’s just work updates and weekend plans. When I try to talk about deeper stuff, the subject changes. Are we growing apart, or is there a way back?” In this episode Damona shares why even the strongest bonds can feel distant and offers practical, low-pressure ways to reignite connection.  You’ll learn how to adapt to friendship changes, bring back emotional depth, and keep your support network thriving without it feeling awkward or forced. Plus you’ll also get vital communication tips that you can apply to dating or to feel more connected to people in your world. What You’ll Hear In This Episode: The role of “resistance” in making things feel weird and how to lean into it Why longevity doesn’t always equal depth in a friendship Using shared memories and storytelling to re-open emotional doors The power of intentional questions and the “pause” in deepening connection Why diversifying your emotional support network is key to resilience Low-stakes ways to invite deeper conversations without making it awkward Resources & Links: Download Damona’s Frustration Free Dating Guide at DatesandMates.com Got a question? Text or leave a voicemail for Damona at 424-246-6255 Follow @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook and submit your question via voice memo or DM to have it answered on a future episode Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A long-time listener sent in a heartfelt question: “My Mom constantly has opinions about who I should date, what kind of guy is right for me, even how I should look or act to attract the right person… one comment from her has me spiraling.” In this episode, Damona explores how well-meaning love advice can actually sabotage your future relationships and offers step-by-step strategies for gently setting boundaries and building up your own self-confidence. What You’ll Hear In This Episode: Why outside opinions (especially from parents) can derail your dating momentum How to shift from second-guessing to self-trust in your dating decisions The invisible cost of oversharing—and how to protect your emotional energy Pre-date and post-date rituals that build confidence and clarity Damona’s personal rulebook for managing advice overload When to share... and when to keep your dating life to yourself Resources & Links: Get clarity on your dating patterns with Damona’s FREE Date Tracker Have a question about dating or any relationship that matters to you? Text or leave a voicemail for Damona at 424-246-6255  DM @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A longtime listener sent in a question that speaks to something many women have wondered: “How does one become a woman who builds up a man and always makes them more confident and stronger? How do I get into my feminine state and energy around a guy on a date?” In this episode, Damona shares what it really means to be “in your feminine,” explores the gender polarity debate, and offers a new way to think about strength, softness, and self-worth in modern relationships. What You’ll Hear In This Episode: How to support your partner without losing yourself Why feminine energy isn’t a fix—it’s often a performance How dating narratives get passed down and when to rewrite them Why your wholeness—not your polarity—attracts the right match What true balance looks like in an equal partnership Resources & Links: Download Damona’s FREE Frustration-Free Dating Guide Got a question? Text or leave a voicemail for Damona at 424-246-6255 Follow @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After watching The Materialists, a long-time listener sent in a question that struck a chord: “What’s it going to take for us to kill the curve and stop dating by height, BMI, salary, or things that don’t speak to true character?”  In this episode, Damona unpacks the real-life impact of checklist dating, explores the illusions behind modern matchmaking, and responds with practical advice for anyone who’s ever felt overlooked or friend-zoned. Plus, she shares her “Nice Guy 9” framework—9 simple shifts that help you connect more deeply and date more intentionally. What You’ll Hear In This Episode: How dating checklists quietly sabotage real connection What The Materialists gets right—and dangerously wrong—about dating culture The matchmaking myth and what it really costs (literally and emotionally) Why bad boys always win—and why that isn’t actually what’s happening The Nice Guy Nine: Damona’s go-to dating strategy for deeper connection How to shift your love story by changing the stories you tell yourself Resources & Links: Download Damona’s FREE Date Tracker Got a question? Text or leave a voicemail for Damona at 424-246-6255 Follow @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook Order F the Fairytale on Amazon, B&N, or from your local bookseller Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Damona takes on a question from longtime listener Vernee, who’s back in the dating scene after a hiatus… and hitting a wall when it comes to finding someone who shares her political and social justice values. Vernee asks: "I'm politically progressive, very values-driven, and living in a purple state. I've tried everything — hints in my profile, direct chats — but nothing’s working. Where are the men who believe what I believe?" If you’ve ever wondered how to communicate what matters without scaring people off — or how to find someone who’s actually aligned — this one’s for you. In this episode: • Why dating apps might feel harder now than they did just a few years ago • How political identity and core values have become deeply intertwined • What to say in your profile (and what to leave out) • Why texting about politics rarely works — and what to try instead • Where to meet values-aligned people beyond the apps • The line between staying open-minded and lowering your standards Submit your question: call or text 424-246-6255 Follow Damona on IG: @damonahoffman Get your free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com Order F the Fairytale on Amazon, B&N, or from your local bookseller Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dating today isn’t always smooth sailing. There’s ghosting, bad first dates, texting traps... and if you’re feeling stuck in the same old dating loops, you’re not alone. In this Dates & Mates Master Class, Damona Hoffman breaks down the eight most common dating mistakes she sees after 15+ years of coaching singles, and shares actionable fixes to help you date smarter, not harder. Whether you’re tired of swiping, struggling to make real connections, or caught in negative self-talk, this episode gives you the clarity and tools to reset your dating approach. What you’ll learn: How to stop ghosting, and stop getting ghosted The danger of “obliga-swiping” and how to date with intention Why texting too much before a date kills chemistry The power of refreshing your dating profile regularly How to overcome negative self-talk and fear of starting over Why having a dating plan beats waiting for a fairy tale If you have questions about your love life, Damona wants to hear from you. DM her on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook @damonahoffman or leave a voicemail at 424-246-6255 for a chance to have your question answered in an upcoming Dear Damona segment. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Damona Hoffman breaks down one of the most important moments in dating—the first date—and how to make it count. Whether you’re getting back out there or swiping with new optimism, this episode shares how to set yourself up for success so that first date leads to a second. Damona covers everything from whether to Google your date to how long a first date should really last, what to wear, where to go, and how to follow up. She even shares seven fun, low-pressure first date ideas that help build real connection. What you’ll learn: How long a first date should actually last Why dinner dates don’t set you up for success The value of a pre-date phone call (and when to do video) What to wear to make the best first impression How to choose a first date location that creates connection Seven easy, fun, and affordable first date ideas If you have a relationship or communicationquestion you’d like answered on a future episode, send Damona a DM on Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok @damonahoffman or leave a voicemail at 424-246-6255. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

REWIND: Dear Damona – Besties’ Bro & Never Been Kissed In this standout Dates & Mates Rewind episode, Damona tackles your real dating dilemmas with her signature no-nonsense advice. From navigating awkward crushes to handling tricky conversations about intimacy, this episode is packed with guidance to help you date with clarity and confidence. If you’ve ever wondered what to do when your boyfriend avoids sex, how to approach dating when you’ve never been kissed, or whether it’s okay to filter for men with degrees, this episode has you covered. You’ll also hear Damona’s take on modern challenges like dating someone with an OnlyFans account, dealing with phones on dates, and whether fudging your age on apps is ever worth it. What you’ll learn: How to stop hiding behind dating app filters and set meaningful standards What to say when intimacy is missing in your relationship When it’s time to stay or go in a relationship that feels stuck The truth about age on dating apps — and whether honesty is really the best policy How to navigate dating when you feel inexperienced Setting boundaries when your partner has an OnlyFans or a highly public life If you have your own dating question, Damona wants to hear from you. Send a voice memo on Instagram @damonahoffman or leave a voicemail at 424-246-6255 for a chance to have your question answered in an upcoming Dear Damona segment. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on Dates & Mates, Damona Hoffman rewinds to her 400th episode featuring a guest who helped inspire the show from the start: the legendary Dr. Drew Pinsky. Dr. Drew has spent decades giving love, sex, and mental health advice on Loveline, Celebrity Rehab, and now on his podcast Ask Dr. Drew, which he co-hosts with his wife of over 30 years. In this vulnerable and heartfelt episode, Dr. Drew shares his personal journey through a seven-year on-and-off courtship, what finally made him ready for commitment, and how he and his wife maintain a strong marriage after decades together. Plus, he joins Damona to answer your dating questions in a special extended Dear Damona segment. What you’ll learn: Why emotional readiness matters more than "the one" How to navigate on-again/off-again dynamics with clarity When to disclose a medical condition or disability to a new partner Why gratitude and daily check-ins are key to long-term love What makes someone feel "unapproachable" in dating and how to shift it How to know when you're ready to date after trauma or burnout This episode is part of our Rewind Series, where we revisit some of the most timeless and transformative conversations from the Dates & Mates archive. Subscribe now to catch every Rewind drop and our Spring bonus episodes the moment they go live. Listen to more of Dr. Drew on the Ask Dr. Drew podcast and follow him @drdrewpinsky. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on Dates & Mates, Damona Hoffman rewinds to one of her favorite conversations with love coach and viral content creator Shaun Galanos. Shaun is the host of The Love Drive podcast and has become a rising voice in game-free, radically honest dating advice—and this episode shows you exactly why. In this raw and radically honest episode, Shaun and Damona go head-to-head on the dating games that hold us back, how to ask for what you want in bed, and what to do when someone won’t give you a straight answer. From emotional stonewalling to the pressure of dating app perfectionism, they unpack it all. What you’ll learn: Why radical honesty is the only dating strategy worth mastering How to bring up uncomfortable topics without pushing people away What stonewalling actually says—and how to respond to it How to explore kink, sexual compatibility, and deeper intimacy with confidence Why optimizing for the “perfect” person might leave you lonely How to hold your power as a strong woman without dimming your light This episode is part of our Rewind Series, where we revisit some of the most powerful and timeless conversations from the Dates & Mates vault. Subscribe to get every rewind episode and our Spring special bonus episodes the minute they are available. Listen to Sean on The Love Drive podcast and follow him @thelovedrive on Instagram and TikTok. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are back with a no-holds-barred Best of Dear Damona episode—because when it comes to texting mishaps, mixed signals, and dating curveballs, this one hits home every time. In this candid conversation, Damona answers some of your juiciest dating dilemmas—from the accidental text that lands in the wrong inbox to what it really means when someone texts you “hey you” at 11:30 PM. She shares smart, compassionate advice on navigating confusing signals, staying grounded, and owning your truth in the dating game. What you’ll learn: How to respond and recover when you send the wrong text to your date Whether it’s okay to ask for better photos—and how to do it playfully The real timeline for exclusivity (spoiler: you don’t have to rush) Why it’s okay to date multiple people—and how to know when to choose How to disclose chronic conditions or disabilities with confidence Why shared values matter more than shared hobbies This episode is part of our Rewind Series, where we revisit some of the most powerful and timeless conversations from the Dates & Mates vault. Subscribe to get every rewind episode and our Spring special bonus episodes the minute they are available. DM Damona your questions on Instagram @damonahoffman or text 424-246-6255 to be featured on a future episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Damona breaks down the 5 core dating “loops” that keep singles stuck and the step-by-step strategies that lead to lasting love. With over 15 years of experience coaching thousands of daters, Damona shares how clarity, mindset, and follow-through can radically shift your dating outcomes. If you’ve been swiping without success, burning out on first dates, or unsure where to even begin, this episode offers a simple and strategic path forward. What you’ll learn: The five most common dating loops and how to break them How to avoid burnout by dating with clarity and purpose Where to actually meet the right people (online and IRL) Why your dating mindset matters more than your profile This is a special masterclass edition of our Rewind Series, where we revisit some of the most powerful and timeless conversations from the Dates & Mates archives. Subscribe to get every rewind episode and our Spring special bonus episodes the minute they are available. Want to go deeper? Learn more at DamonaHoffman.com Join the Dating Accelerator Program Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fan favorite, Dr. Orna Guralnik, renowned psychoanalyst and host of the hit Showtime series Couples Therapy, shares what decades of clinical work have taught her about love, connection, and unconscious patterns in relationships. In this conversation, Dr. Orna also opens up about the societal shifts reshaping modern intimacy, the difference between psychoanalysis and surface-level self-help, and why listening, real, curious listening, is a radical act in partnership. What you’ll learn: How your unconscious motivations shape relationship patterns Why privilege must be acknowledged for real connection to happen How to create transformation in a partner without “fixing” them Why curiosity is the first step to emotional healing This episode is part of our Rewind Series, where we revisit some of the most powerful and timeless conversations from the Dates & Mates vault. Subscribe to get every rewind episode and our Spring special bonus episodes the minute they are available. Catch Dr. Orna in Couples Therapy (streaming now on Showtime) Follow her @ornaguralnikNYT Essay – “I’m a Couples Therapist. Something New Is Happening in Relationships” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nick Viall, TV personality and host of the hit podcast The Viall Files, gets real about modern dating—from DM slides to ghosting games—and why the story we tell ourselves about love might be holding us back. In this candid conversation, Nick reflects on his years in the Bachelor franchise, what finally made love stick, and the overlooked ways women can help men feel safe, seen, and emotionally available.  Plus, in a special Dear Damona & Dear Nick segment, the two team up to answer your toughest love dilemmas—from long-distance moving logistics to mixed signals that never quite become dates. What you’ll learn: How to slide into DMs without overthinking it Why the “how we met” story isn’t as important as we think What men wish women knew about emotional safety How to handle a situationship that keeps circling back This episode is part of our Rewind Series, where we revisit some of the most powerful and timeless conversations from the Dates & Mates vault. Subscribe to get every rewind episode and our Spring special bonus episodes the minute they are available. Listen to Nick on The Viall Files podcast Follow him on the socials @nickviall Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices