In todays "uncomfortable" for some people, conversation i am joined by two of my favourite colleagues in the space of Psychosexual Therapy, Sexology and the world of relationships. We have been discussing many of the issues on todays episode for a number of years, so I decided to record our conversation to bring you what "really" happens in a sex therapy session [contrary to the people who do not practice ethically, or lawfully but thats not today conversation but could be another episode soon]. We discuss shame and the current narratives around porn which often prevent people discussing this. Why sex is not all bad, why we need to have an open mind (and ears) to the qualifiers of SOME people, SOME of the time have a problem with porn, sex and relationships BUT NOT ALL people will become dependent on it. We discuss how the finger pointing at sex and porn leaves young people with little knowledge about what sex is and so porn might just be the way they learn. We discuss the positive side of porn, yes there are positives which are about allowing people to explore their own bodies. We discuss shame, attachment injuries and how we protect ourselves by engaging in behaviours that are there to help us self soothe. How Masturbation has been demonised by the grown ups with frightening and scary shame based narratives which result in terrified children. We talk about "anti masturbation" organisations, we deconstruct the myths of touching versus 'outcome' and why this is often attributed to the addictive nomenclature, which we then talk about as an aetiology of harm to clients when used as a 'stick with which to bash them' . We cover so many topics, in depth (oh la la) and with many years of working in the space of psychosexual issues. NOTE: the sexual offending pathway research looks at differing routes to harm and I am aware of the correlation between problematic use of porn and offending and that is not discussed today. the reflection on THE pathway is relevant to those of you listening and watching who are not offenders and have shame associated with porn viewing or sexual dysfunction that is not harming children. Silva is @SilvaNeves3 on X and: silvanevespsychotherapy on IG Lisa is @EthersonLisa on X and mrslisaethersoon on IG her shame website can be found at www.shametraining.com