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Crooked Little Girl
Crooked Little Girl
25 episodes
6 days ago
I spent my first 40 years in the cultish Evangelical world, picking up many layers of cPTSD from family, religion and marriage. I’m rebuilding a new life as a single mom of five kids who has stopped homeschooling. Single moms usually work, but in 2020 Long Covid gave me brain injuries and nervous system damage, which means I lost the entry level jobs I attempted to work. This is a glimpse of my journey in leaving Evangelical Land and its magical, mystical promises. I’ve learned the hard way that God doesn’t pay your loans or stop domestic violence even if you make a covenant with Him.
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Religion
Religion & Spirituality
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I spent my first 40 years in the cultish Evangelical world, picking up many layers of cPTSD from family, religion and marriage. I’m rebuilding a new life as a single mom of five kids who has stopped homeschooling. Single moms usually work, but in 2020 Long Covid gave me brain injuries and nervous system damage, which means I lost the entry level jobs I attempted to work. This is a glimpse of my journey in leaving Evangelical Land and its magical, mystical promises. I’ve learned the hard way that God doesn’t pay your loans or stop domestic violence even if you make a covenant with Him.
Show more...
Religion
Religion & Spirituality
Episodes (20/25)
Crooked Little Girl
My Crooked Body

I've thought of myself as the crooked girl with the crooked life since childhood. Here's the story behind the name of this podcast.

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1 year ago
52 minutes 4 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
Holy Escapism

It's a new realization that I might not die or be raptured today. I never thought I'd live past my childhood. Age 30 would never be reached, not even close. I was given proof every day for my first 35 years of life that Jesus is about to return and I will escape all the consequences of my current choices. Here's what that was like.

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1 year ago
33 minutes 26 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
The False Promise That All Will Be Healed

Evangelicals introduced me to a God who heals everyone, in every way. Body, soul, finances, everything! That God was amazing. I'm learning that this was a false hope, held out by people who are afraid to live in the chaotic middle ground where some things are not healed.

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1 year ago
34 minutes 35 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
Homeschool Series: Protected From Goodness, While Harm is Allowed
I describe my own childhood homeschool experience, and contrast it with the Unschooling I did with my own kids. I talk about the pros and cons of homeschooling, along with daily life stories and why people even bother to keep their kids home.
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1 year ago
57 minutes 37 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
Not Allowed to Work
God and my husband required me to put my Masters degree and any potential jobs on an altar. Today I dive into ways that Evangelical systems disconnect us from reality in very compelling, confusing ways.
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1 year ago
43 minutes 28 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
Why Printed Prayers and Church Structure Make Us Feel Safer
My friend Alisa joins for a conversation that touches on too many interesting topics to list! She tells of her journey from Baptist to Catholic, the messy aspects of cultural church life in contrast to Jesus' original teachings, the ways liturgy can bring more freedom rather than less, and much more. Bear with our glitchy Zoom call audio issues at the beginning, it’s a great conversation! Alisa is my oldest friend, a writer, wife and mother, a deeply thoughtful and intelligent woman.
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1 year ago
1 hour 6 minutes 48 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
Interview With Dr. Heidi: Toxic Ex-Spouses

Dr Heidi Brocke of the fabulous podcast It's Not Normal It's Toxic is here today to chat about what a toxic relationship is like and what it's like to co-parent with them. Look for her at coachingwithdrheidi.com.



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1 year ago
46 minutes 34 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
Warped Temple
The Bible passage about our bodies being temples of the Holy Spirit is one of the most triggering for me. Here’s what happened when it came up in the liturgy yesterday at church.
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1 year ago
21 minutes 13 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
Yes, I'm a Victim and I'm Shattered (updated & fixed)

* This episode somehow hit a glitch with the uploaded audio leaving a segment out. If something seemed off, here's the fixed original version! And if you never heard the one with a missing mid-sentence glitch, enjoy!


Our society acts like grief is a short term event and that trauma or adversity makes us stronger. I disagree. Some griefs shatter us in ways we can't fix and trauma makes us broken and exhausted!

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2 years ago
30 minutes 54 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
On the Way To Our Firehouse Marriage

Here's the story of what happened when my ex stopped the car on the way to our marriage. Not our wedding, just the marriage ceremony at a firehouse. I look at the scene as I viewed it then, and look again with new eyes today.

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2 years ago
26 minutes 52 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
Moving On After Abuse
Evangelicals, you said life would be awful if we got divorced. Here’s the real story!
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2 years ago
45 minutes 27 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
Interview With a Former Closeted Gay Husband

This discussion was very meaningful and helpful for me, and I know that others will really enjoy it! If you've never been in an abusive relationship, this will give you some understanding of what your family members or friends in destructive relationships have experienced. If you're curious about the dynamics of navigating a spouse coming out as gay and trying to coparent with someone in that situation, this is a really interesting peek into that!

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2 years ago
1 hour 17 minutes 7 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
Domestic Violence or Noble Sacrifice?
Dear Evangelicals, you made Jesus look like the devil and you made abuse look like a noble, holy sacrifice for God. Your crooked gospel led to the domestic violence I describe here.
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2 years ago
55 minutes 37 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
Living With Long Covid
Dear Covid, you reached into my future life in earth shattering ways when you infected me in 2020. I’m in a bad flare now. This is my description of what it’s like to suffer from you.
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2 years ago
46 minutes 53 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
What’s Even Real? Am I Insane?!
Dear Evangelicals, you work hard to protect and preserve marriage because it’s sacred. At the same time, you fail to protect actual people like my kids and I, who should be seen as more sacred and of more value than the institution of marriage. Let’s look at the ways my ex and his mom twisted reality to portray me as crazy and had your unwavering support in keeping me trapped.
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2 years ago
46 minutes 11 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
Chronic Illness or Demons or Anxiety?
Christians told me my mysterious medical problems were demonic torment. Doctors told me I was anxious, clumsy and too skinny. After 16 years I found out the invisible reasons were Dysautonomia and having a crooked eyeball. I know from experience that church is the hardest place to endure a chronic illness, especially when doctors don’t even believe that you’re sick.
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2 years ago
35 minutes 25 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
A Crooked Gospel That Created My Crooked Life
Dear Evangelicals, your gospel is crooked. Your lifestyle is crooked. That’s why I’m a crooked girl who’s trying to unravel and untangle this life that was warped by you. You praise and enable abusers while requiring the victims to lay down their lives or turn their cheeks. This is my new view of your crooked teachings.
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2 years ago
24 minutes 27 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
How Suffering Led Me Away From Church
Dear Evangelicals, you avoid fear and other uncomfortable emotions like the plague. I learned that God is actually with us when we’re afraid or suffering. Here’s the story of finding the God of peace in my son’s ICU room and being seen as faithless when I tried to show people that Jesus is near us when we suffer.
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2 years ago
40 minutes 21 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
Adult Children Running the Church
Dear Evangelicals, you act like children! You act powerless and irresponsible. You’re not grounded in reality about relationships or many other facets of life.
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2 years ago
42 minutes 33 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
Covid: The Savior I Hate
Dear Covid, you’ve wrecked my body in so many ways but you also brought me out of a cult and a soul-killing marriage. Nothing else in life gave me the determination or awareness about those things the way that you did.
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2 years ago
20 minutes 15 seconds

Crooked Little Girl
I spent my first 40 years in the cultish Evangelical world, picking up many layers of cPTSD from family, religion and marriage. I’m rebuilding a new life as a single mom of five kids who has stopped homeschooling. Single moms usually work, but in 2020 Long Covid gave me brain injuries and nervous system damage, which means I lost the entry level jobs I attempted to work. This is a glimpse of my journey in leaving Evangelical Land and its magical, mystical promises. I’ve learned the hard way that God doesn’t pay your loans or stop domestic violence even if you make a covenant with Him.