This week, I’ve been reflecting on what it really means to live a life that is a true expression of who we are.
It’s funny, but sometimes we’re so caught up chasing goals or dreams that were never really ours to begin with. Maybe, like me, you’ve had moments where you realise that the version of success you’ve been striving for doesn’t quite fit your values, strengths, or what’s truly important to you.
I’ve been asking myself: is building an online business really the best path for someone like me who loves being around people and values real human connection? Have I been trying to shape my life around an idea of success that’s been influenced by societal norms and expectations – not what I truly need?
When I first got into the world of self-help and personal development in the early 2000s, it was full of books by people who said you had to want millions to be successful. There was so much emphasis on making money, reaching lofty goals, and becoming rich and successful beyond belief.
But let’s be honest – that isn’t what everyone truly wants.
Success is personal.
My idea of success is living in a semi-rural stone property, with long distance views and waking up to fresh eggs everyday from my chickens. It's about having the time and space to enjoy my life and be able to go for walks, journal and do yoga. I am not hustling my ass off, I work 20 hours a week, running self-development workshops and therapy/coaching sessions.
It’s easy to get caught up in expectations that leave us feeling unfulfilled when we don’t meet them. Tony Robbins once said something about how our level of happiness is tied to our expectations. If those expectations are too high, we can end up feeling constantly discontent.
Here I am in 2025, and I haven’t built a six- or seven-figure business or had a best selling book, or created a huge on-line platform.
But when I get really honest with myself – did I really want that? Or did I think I had to want it because of what I’d been told and had been telling myself?
Sometimes, the gold we seek is already in our own backyard.
Perhaps the things we’re searching for have been right in front of us all along.
I’m a university counsellor, and I love my job. I’m also training to be a solution-focused hypnotherapist, and that feels like such a good fit for me.
What if I stopped trying to chase after something shiny and new and just focused on what I already do well – and made that my focus?
I think this is a lesson that could apply to you too.
It’s so easy to get swept away by societal pressures or other people’s definitions of success. But what if you took a moment to step back and ask yourself:
What does success really look like for me?
What am I doing already that is enough?
So, here’s something I’d like you to reflect on this week.
Think about the ways in which you might be chasing after something that isn’t truly aligned with who you are or what you really want.
Here are three journal prompts to get you thinking:
Coaching Tool: Shifting Expectations
Take some time this week to examine your expectations. If you feel discontent or like you’re falling short, ask yourself – are my expectations realistic and aligned with who I truly am and what I need?
Write down any expectations you feel are weighing on you and then cross out the ones that don’t serve you. Instead, replace them with more grounded, authentic expectations that reflect your real desires and values.
Check out my latest blog post,
5 Simple Ways to Make Change Happen | Kay Holdsworth : Create Yourself
Join the FREE 21 Day Writing for Self-Discovery Challenge - Reconnect with your true self
21-Day Journaling Challenge | Kay Holdsworth : Create Yourself
