Why Your Marriage Keeps Repeating the Same Fight (Identity Loss Explained)

https://is1-ssl.mzstatic.com/image/thumb/Podcasts116/v4/05/9c/95/059c9512-d1bd-2930-bd4d-ceeb07ce120e/mza_18425901193510925654.jpg/600x600bb.jpg

Connection Codes

189 episodes

1 day ago

We often find ourselves stuck in a cycle of miscommunication and frustration. We don't know how to convey how we feel OR we burst out and create even more pain. Dr. Glenn & Phyllis Hill have spent years researching human connection and how to break that cycle. The Connection Codes is the guide to helping couples conquer conflict and it is the tool to break the cycle of pain and live in peace together. Hosted by Tera Wages of the I Get It podcast. For free resources to a better marriage go to https://www.connectioncodes.co/

Self-Improvement

Education

RSS

All content for Connection Codes is the property of Connection Codes and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

Self-Improvement

Education

https://d3t3ozftmdmh3i.cloudfront.net/staging/podcast_uploaded_nologo/22560997/22560997-1694118487057-3ea3739608c54.jpg

Why Your Marriage Keeps Repeating the Same Fight (Identity Loss Explained)

Connection Codes

1 hour 1 minute 27 seconds

1 week ago

Why Your Marriage Keeps Repeating the Same Fight (Identity Loss Explained)

What happens when a simple email about work scripts triggers a complete relationship nosedive? In this raw, unfiltered episode, we witness Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill work through an actual conflict from the day before—and discover how identity loss was at the root of their disconnect.

This isn't theory. This is real marriage work happening in real-time.

You'll discover:

Why the first 60 seconds of conflict can determine your entire day
How "being the workhorse" or "the fixer" can destroy emotional connection
The difference between acknowledging pain vs. trying to fix it (and why one creates intimacy while the other creates distance)
Why logistics never matter (and what actually does)
How to identify when you've tuned out fear to maintain your identity
The surprising reason why saying "you don't have to do it all" can strip someone of their identity
Real tools for repair when you've already spiraled into disconnection

Key Timestamps:

3:12 - The conflict begins: How a missed acknowledgment triggered everything
18:05 - Identifying the first unprocessed emotion (the make-or-break moment)
26:10 - The workhorse identity: Why "getting things done" becomes self-destructive
39:02 - The validation breakthrough: What acknowledgment actually does
47:08 - Walking through the Core Emotion Wheel together

This episode is essential for:

Couples who keep having the "same fight" in different packaging
Leaders carrying identity roles that no longer serve them
Anyone who's been called "the strong one" and wonders why they feel so exhausted
Parents navigating empty nest transitions or career changes
Anyone who feels unseen in their closest relationships

Resources Mentioned:

Download the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast

Work with a certified Connection Codes coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

Explore the School of Connection for deep-dive marriage transformation

Topics: marriage conflict resolution, emotional health in relationships, identity crisis in marriage, emotional processing, leadership and emotional intelligence, relationship repair, overcoming disconnection, mental health in marriage, core emotions, validation in relationships