If you’re feeling drained despite all your efforts to manage your time and boundaries, you’re probably making these three critical mistakes that are actually robbing you of the very energy you’re trying to preserve. This episode reveals why your current strategies are backwards and what to focus on instead. Mistake #1: Waiting for Others to Change The biggest energy drain is believing that other people or circumstances changing is the solution to feeling better. You’re living in ”when then” mode. When your partner changes, when you have more time, when your kids are older, when you get a new job, THEN you’ll have energy for yourself. This is giving away your power entirely. External circumstances changing doesn’t automatically give you more energy or make you prioritize yourself better. If you believe your husband, kids, or schedule needs to change before you can feel better, you’re putting yourself in a powerless position where forces outside of you control your wellbeing. That costs you massive amounts of energy because you’re fighting what you can’t control. Mistake #2: Thinking It’s a Time Management Problem This is like slapping lipstick on a pig. You’re looking for a solution to the wrong problem. Time management is easy when you know how you’re prioritizing your time and what needs to get done. No system or strategy is going to give you more energy. The people Lisa works with are some of the most productive people she’s ever met. They’re so productive they don’t even realize they’re over-functioning way beyond what they need to do in a day. Here’s what’s really happening: you create organized systems and free up space, then immediately fill that space back up because you’re uncomfortable with calm. You say you want more time and energy, but you’re actually more committed to filling that time because you feel calm in the chaos. It takes serious nervous system regulation to get comfortable being calm in the calm. Most people feel more comfortable in chaos than in peace, so they’ll always create things to bring them back to busyness. Mistake #3: Using Worry as a Problem-Solving Strategy This is where Lisa gets really honest about her own patterns. Worrying and focusing on the problem as a way to fix the problem. Many of Lisa’s clients have unraveled the belief that there’s even a problem when often what they find is they’ve created a problem where none existed. Consider what worry is giving you. Many of us learned that the more we worry, the more responsible we’re being about handling things. But where did you learn that worry was the way to solve problems? You get more of what you focus on. Lisa shares her personal example with money worry. She didn’t have a money problem she had a worry-about-money problem. She spent tremendous energy worrying about debt, asking herself how she’d pay it off, if she’d be okay. Then she developed a strategy to break the worry cycle. Lisa’s Worry-Breaking Strategy She started asking herself: ”Is anything different today from yesterday?” The answer was always no. ”Did you spend all day yesterday worrying?” Yes. ”Did that change anything?” No. ”Is anything different today?” No. ”Did anything bad happen yesterday?” No. Day after day after day, she had evidence that worrying wasn’t changing anything and nothing bad was actually happening. No bill collectors showed up. Nobody took her car. Nothing bad was happening. In that moment, she’d tell herself to stop spending energy worrying and put that energy into being responsible for doing things that would support the outcome she wanted. If something had changed when she asked those questions, it still came back to: what do I need to take responsibility for in this moment? Then she’d do that thing and move on.