Fazeena Haniff was just seven years old when she witnessed her three-year-old cousin killed by a drunk driver. Visiting family in New York City for her birthday, she ended up attending a funeral instead of a celebration.

The pain of the event was immediately suppressed in a family that tended to hide its emotions, so Fazeena never got to process the guilty feeling that she was to blame for the accident.

That is, until nearly 30 years later when she found herself miserable in a failing marriage and re-traumatized by an incident while driving her own car.

"I clearly had been holding onto this for how many decades, and it's playing a part in my marriage, and it's blocked me my entire life," she said. "I literally would self-sabotage myself to punish myself."

Having been in a self-imposed prison, Fazeena, who is now a communications and leadership coach, finally got the help she needed. She used training in neurolinguistic programming to learn how to process trauma and disconnect the tragedy from her thoughts about herself. She now uses that technique and others to help her clients recognize how their own traumas are holding them back.

Fazeena is very candid and transparent, and her level of self-awareness is admirable. I think you will find her story and the lessons she learned about forgiveness to be highly recognizable and maybe even helpful.

If you're moved by her story — or any of my guests on Chiseled — I welcome your feedback. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this week's episode.