Oh, hello to the people who are still listening. Yes, we're still here... for good or bad.

Please note: this was recorder well before the passing of Dame Maggie Smith. Any discussion of her is intended to be only complimentary.

Today we will discuss the worst book (and film), but that doesn't = bad. But it's the Chamber of Secrets, and everything that goes with it.

We discuss the Dobby and The Problem With House-Elves, the concept of The Trace, the introduction of Lucius Malfoy - the true villain of the story, the dumbest decision ever made by anyone in the series, the concept of magical racism, and that's before the school year even starts!

Harry hears things, The Heir is back (beware), is Harry guilty, who is Tom Riddle, how clever is Hermione (hint: very), why did Hagrid get expelled, who is Tom Riddle really, and would Lucius Malfoy really have killed Harry?