Want a GREAT marriage?

Here's tip #1 - Never take marriage advice from people who don't enjoy their marriage - in ALL aspects.

I was raised to believe that a "godly" marriage should look a certain way - 

Husband leads in all things,

Wife submits in all things,

Children obey in all things,

And dogs are better than cats as pets.

Dogs are loyal.  Cats are too independent.

Okay - that last part was a stretch, but not by much.

Here's the problem I see.  We are looking for the "perfect formula" to avoiding divorce, and having a great marriage, 

Not realizing that the Bible is about FAITH, not formulas.

And the "perfect formula" for marriage was - if the wife submits, the marriage will be great.

Maybe. Maybe not.

Maybe the marriage will be about 2 people devoting all their time, energy and attention to the selfishness of one person.

And that's not a great thing - not for either person.

Listen, I both LOVE to help couples stay HAPPILY married forever AND ALSO believe that "avoiding divorce at all costs" is the WRONG goal.  

Is marriage a picture of Christ and His Bride, the church?  Yes.

But an abusive marriage?  That is an EVIL corruption of God's beautiful design.

Let's not turn a blind eye to it.

Let's not be guilty of telling a woman to "submit" to abuse.

Let's not make "a forever marriage" an idol in our churches, and ignore the real needs of the people in the marriage.

A STRONG marriage, a HEALTHY marriage, a MUTUALLY loving marriage - that's the best buffer against divorce.  

Let's not rely upon a simple "submission" formula to replace the work of admonishing, exhorting, teaching, bearing one another's burdens, and mutual submission that we as Christians are called to do.