Absurd, Moronic, & Downright Ridiculous

• Man Wearing Mouse Ears Roamed Andrews Air Force Base For Over 5 Hours And Boarded Government Aircraft
• Texas Man Drives Dealership Loaner To Rob Bank To Buy BMW
• Former Youth Pastor Blames His Blood Sugar For Calling Kneeling High School Girls Basketball Players N-Word

National Sports

• Gonzaga, Baylor, Illinois, & Michigan Get Top Seeds In NCAA Basketball Tournament
• Saints QB Drew Brees Retires After 20 Seasons, Joins NBC Sports
• Russian Hockey Player Dead At 19 After Being Struck In Head With Puck

New England Sports

• Boston Bruins
• Boston Celtics
• Boston Red Sox
• New England Patriots