Tonight on Boring History for Bedtime—the bedtime podcast for insomniacs, overthinkers, and medieval fashion enthusiasts—we slowly unravel the layered world of 13th-century noble wedding attire. From scratchy linen undergarments to gold-threaded outerwear that screamed “don’t touch, I’m expensive,” this episode takes you on a soft-spoken journey through the wardrobe of Europe’s elite.

We’ll talk about what each layer meant—socially, spiritually, and logistically—and why mantles, belts, and veils weren’t just accessories but statements of wealth, class, and marital status. There’s no plot, no whispering, and no urgency—just one dry voice carefully walking you through shoes with long toes, cloaks lined in squirrel fur, and jewelry with questionable magical properties.

Whether you’re here to learn, sleep, or gently zone out, this is your bedtime story in brocade.

Settle in. Unclench. Let soothing storytelling carry you to dreamland—no drama, just heavily layered nobles getting married very slowly.