Back after our holiday breaks. Trips to Ohio and Wisconsin were taken. Family festivities were attended. We check in to see how Santa treated us, and ring in the New Year. Steve tells us how to get around the DIA airport and Brandon gets into wordy t-shirts. Oh yeah, and #TacoBarChristmas.

America 3000: Many years after Mercans and Commies nuked each other, Fraus rule the world and keep men mostly as their machos, except for a few that contribute when they need some seedin'. Plugots roam the plains, scraping together a bare existence while the Fraus horde all the weps and eats, in keeping with their regs. When the Tiara of Frisco falls in battle, her daughter must take over. One man with heavy smarts, because he found a book, wants nege more of these cold days and tries to lead his people down a warm path. This is how they speak in the movie, solemn swear. That shit is woggos. Scan what I'm talkin'?

America 3000 final grade:

We try a more scientific approach to grading our first movie of the new year. We're not sure if it helped or not. The numbers say 2.6/5. Here's what the feels say.

Steve Bad movie. Good lighting, though. The constant use of the future people's stupid-sounding language, while interesting and innovative, was grating. The geology didn't look anything like Colorado. 2.03/5.0

Brandon This one was bad, but it was a good flick to have some fun with, which can't be said for many of the movies we've watched. Not Samurai Cop level of unintentional comedy, but it was fanplastic. 3.19/5.0

Cocktail of the Week: Cocktail with No Name

2 oz Stranahan's Colorado Single Malt Whiskey

1 oz Vanilla liqueur

1 oz Fresh-squeezed Orange Juice

1/2 oz Cinnamon-infused Simple Syrup

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker. Shake to chill and combine, then strain into a rocks glass over ice. Garnish with a dehydrated orange slice, if Santa brought you some.

Cocktail Grade: Easily the best cocktail Brandon has cobbled together. Tastes good, and makes movies better than they really are. 4.2/5

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