The sequins were sparkling, the judges were dramatic, and yes — someone ripped their shirt off again. Welcome to your not-so-serious weekly recap of Dancing with the Stars, where we roll our eyes at the judges, gasp at the eliminations, and obsess over the ballroom chaos from last night.

On TikTok Night, Robert Irwin gave the internet what it wanted (shirtless salsa, obviously) — though Derek was quick to remind everyone that flexing your abs doesn’t make your hips move. Lauren Jauregui, who deserved better, got booted and left the ballroom “pissed” (same, girl). Oh, and Derek’s mic decided to go rogue thanks to Elaine Hendrix’s brooch — peak live TV energy.

We’ll recap it all: the viral dances, the costumes we wish we could unsee, the judge scores that made no sense, and the fan theories that keep Twitter alive at 2 a.m. So grab your sparkliest drink and join us, because the ballroom is messy — and that’s exactly why we love it.