*TRIGGER WARNING* ⚠️ PLEASE READ BEFORE LISTENING.
⚠️ PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN IF YOU ARE FEELING SUICIDAL OR YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A PLACE OF LOW MOOD ⚠️



I say I’ve been thinking about it for hours and from North to South. What I mean by that is: I’ve been thinking about publishing the podcast for hours from north to south:

NOT THAT I AM SUICIDAL.

I AM NOT SUICIDAL.

NHS - advice and links to support.

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/help-for-suicidal-thoughts/

Beast Pit - 27.12.19

Heavy rain and water immersed control systems
Flagging failure danger stranger than reality
Waves hit ship broader and brighter than the mighty sun shining angry hallucinations of the original creation, it’s real but it can’t be holding so tight with all its might, it’s frightening and you’re falling stone lengths and throws all the way down to the elbows, the cross bow strikes from the minute that you rise and surprise is removed from your weak life, stab me it’ll make me feel, the red blood appeals, living with a life long disease, it’s real and it’s tough, ragging you through the rough you can’t change it now when you’re down, life is so lightless, joy doesn’t exist, everyday lies a quiet mist of destruction within, I can’t begin to explain the constant rain, the dead flowers of pain, can I exchange this feeling for a day?
The emotion is an ocean and won’t allow you to cry, life would be better if only I died, the silence is infectious, a few months ago was reckless, you’re living a half life, categorically not right, when will the storm pass, when will the green grass present itself to me and return to being happy, no words that can describe this feeling I can’t hide, just know it’s painful from the inside. I’ll smile it will be fake, surely there was a mistake, the one who created me was dysfunctional and angry, why did it have to be so chronic, the good side supersonic but the pit of shit I reside in now is far from it.
Pray for me.